Sol The First Female Alpha

Sol POV

“Quienten it isn’t that bad.” I tried to affirm my cousin and beta to be. “What do you mean it isn’t all that bad. Humans have no understanding of anything. Besides what they can see past the end of their nose.” I laughed at his comment. Of course he would say that. He had only been here a week. He had to come with me to college; he was adjusting to his first time living amongst humans.

I still couldn’t believe my parents had permitted me to come back for another year. I knew it had been my false admiration for the sudden interest in being around people in the pack. They had fallen for it, hook line and sinker. I had fake feelings of openness with members of the pack and took on active roles to being around people. So, naturally my parents thought that College had opened me up.

I was always shy, and they knew that. Permitting me to go to university, in hopes I would become better at socialization, they thought would help. They had seen the improvements but what they failed to see was it was all an act. Quienten knew, he always could see through everything when it came to me. It was why I had announced he would be my beta when I took over.

“Sol, seriously they are insane, I saw someone on something that looked like a weird moving bicycle, but he wasn’t peddling.” Quienten said and again I laughed. “It is a motorized bike.” Quienten was my sole friend and the only one I never felt fake in front of. Like my parents he was family and had to like me, therefore I felt no reason to not be myself. I was also close to my mother.

But I was not her and everyone expected me to live up to her legacy. True I could fight just as well, I hunted well like her, and even my appearance resembled her, but I wasn’t her. I didn’t have a backbone, nor could I stand up for what I believed in. I hoped in the years that would come, I would have the opportunity to be more like her in a way of a leader, but at the moment, I felt totally inadequate, and the expectations were too high.

I had hidden panic attacks all summer, the result of having to interact so much with the pack. The only consolation being the pack thought I had finally come out of my shell and would be able to lead them when the time came. If they only knew? I knew I was so far from what they needed, yet it fell to me. I continually thanked the Goddess that my cousin was there to help carry the load.

My mom had said something about the whole of the other packs, that they were irate about me become the first formal female alpha of a pack. I almost wished she would not defend me and pick anyone else to be her and my father's predecessors. They had some good options besides me.

There was Ben, or Benjaman as his parents called him. His parents Kimi and Charlie had a strong line. He was strong, could, fight, and he was very popular, I betted it was his good looks. Then another option could be Beta Mark’s and Helens oldest, also a male. Maven, he had the arrogance to be an Alpha though not the blood line to support the strength of it. But no, it was me. I had to be the next alpha and I dreaded it. The pressure was always too much, and I hated it.

“At least auntie let us get a place off campus because if I had to live in the dorms like you did last year, I think I would just drop dead from the absurdity of it.” Quienten said. I snorted unpacking the kitchen stuff we had just bought for this place. It was grand of course, my parents had more than enough money to spare, and it made, living away from the pack at least comfortable, not to mention the need to talk to people was a choice here at college verse the obligation to back home.

“And we have the woods right behind us.” I told my cousin. That had been the biggest blessing of this whole thing. When mom and dad said Quienten and I were not living on campus this year they made sure they found a home close to the woods, it would make letting our wolves out easier than it had been for me freshman year of college. “Yeah, but if anyone see’s either of us, you know it may warrant further investigation, white wolves are not common here.” I said to Quienten.

“No shit, hence, we roll in dirt.” He said and I snorted. “So are we going to a party or something tonight. You told me about them, I am anxious to see how humans party.” I stared at him. I hated college parties, I had a bad experience last year where I almost killed someone, it caused a bunch of problems legally which of course mom and dad took care of but since then I was warry of going to any.

“Oh, come on Sol, I am dying to go, and people watch. I won’t let anything happen to you. Isn’t that why I am here anyways?” He was partly right. Mom and dad insisted he come, one to watch out for me and prevent another incident. And second to make sure we bonded and worked together to prepare for our roles when the time came. “Fine, but we are not staying long.” I spoke.

He smiled. “I wonder if this year we will encounter any rogues?” He spoke. I had not encountered any last year, and I was sure this year would be no different. I didn’t particularly want to. I had been warned they were dangerous, having no pack could drive a wolf insane. I shrugged at his question. “So, are you going to wear that?” Quienten asked. I looked down at myself.

“What is wrong with what I am wearing?” I asked and he made a face that said you should know better. It was just leggings and a basic white t-shirt. “Sol, those are house clothes.” I rolled my eyes. I didn’t care, maybe that is why I liked being away from the pack. I never felt the need to impress anyone. “You never know you could meet your mate; do you really want to look like that if you meet them.” He said.

“I am never going to meet my mate, if it didn’t happen at the countless balls we attended over the summer it won’t happen. And certainly not here in the world of humans.” I snapped at him. He came up to me and wrapped me in a hug. He knew this was a sensitive subject. I wanted a mate. I hoped he would be able to help the rift I felt with the pack and be the aide my parents provided one another, but I hadn’t found him yet.