The Hands That Let Me Drown

The floodwaters rushed into the basement, trapping my sister Isabella and me in the surging currents.

My brother, a former Navy SEAL, smashed through the window. Without a second of hesitation, he secured the rescue rope around Isabella.

"You're a good swimmer, figure your own way up! Isabella can't take the cold, I have to get her out first!"

He abandoned me and turned to hoist the rope, accidentally kicking away the only wooden crate keeping me afloat.

Once Isabella was pulled up, she reached down and slid the outer latch, deadlocking the only vent grate.

The floodwaters instantly swallowed me whole. Mud and debris violently surged into my mouth and nose. I was drowned alive.

...

I don't know how much time passed.

The tearing, burning sensation in my lungs, the violent convulsions of my limbs, and the endless despair of drowning abruptly vanished.

I felt incredibly light. My soul drifted effortlessly through the very iron bars that had sealed my doom, floating in mid-air.

Beneath me, my stiff, lifeless body was sinking deep into the freezing mud.

I turned my head. A few yards away, Julian was carefully placing Isabella into the passenger seat of his truck.

After making sure she was secure, he spun around, ready to head back.

"Isa, stay right here. I'm going back for Harper!"

But Isabella tightly grabbed his jacket.

"Julian... please... don't go back..." she sobbed, her face deathly pale. "Harper took all those wilderness survival courses with you! She always knows how to protect herself. The paramedics are already securing the block, they must have found her by now!"

Seeing Julian still hesitating, she suddenly curled into herself in feigned agony, clutching her lower back.

"Julian..." She gasped for air, tears pouring down her face. "I'm in so much pain... Please, can we go to the hospital? Don't leave me behind, I'm begging you..."

This was Isabella. My twin sister.

She suffered from severe kidney failure, and that was the ultimate weapon she used to hoard all the family's affection, expertly exploit Julian's weakness, and force everyone to bend to her will.

Julian's footsteps halted.

He looked back at the house, where the basement was completely swallowed by the floodwaters. A violent struggle flashed in his eyes.

He leaned forward slightly, as if he still wanted to rush back.

But another shrill whimper of pain from Isabella completely nailed his feet to the ground.

Watching the way he cared for Isabella, my ghostly chest throbbed with a phantom pain.

Because once upon a time, that unreserved favoritism and absolute panic belonged to me.

A few years ago, we were caught in a flash flood while camping.

In the same kind of muddy, turbulent waters, Julian had thrown himself into the rapids without hesitation.

He had grabbed me tight, allowing his own body to be repeatedly slammed against submerged logs and jagged rocks.

To keep me from being sucked into the undertow, he bore the brutal force of the flood, resulting in a permanently torn ligament in his right shoulder—an injury that still sent piercing pain through him every time it rained.

Yet, when we were finally dragged ashore, he completely ignored his nearly mangled arm.

Only when I coughed up the filthy water did he look down with bloodshot eyes to comfort me.

"You're safe now, Harper. As long as I'm breathing, I'll never let go of your hand."

Back then, he would be sick with worry if I so much as coughed twice.

But ever since Isabella was diagnosed with kidney failure, Julian's unconditional devotion and protectiveness poured over to her like an inverted hourglass.

The brother who once swore to never let go of my hand had just left me to be swallowed by the flood.

Julian took one last look at the flooded basement and tightly clenched his jaw.

"You're right. Harper knows how to survive. The rescue teams are here, she has to be safe..." he muttered, as if desperately trying to convince himself.

With that, he turned around, scooped Isabella into his arms, and yanked the car door open. "Okay, I'll take you to the ER. I'm right here with you."

I drifted in mid-air, desperately pounding my invisible hands against the windshield.

Julian, I'm not safe!

I drowned!

But he couldn't hear me. The truck sped off into the pouring rain, and my soul, tethered by some invisible force, was dragged right along with it.

In the emergency room, Isabella propped herself up on the hospital bed.

The "severe injury" she had been crying about was nothing but a microscopic scrape on her shin, which a nurse had dutifully bandaged.

"Doctor, you need to check her again. She was submerged in freezing water. Will it trigger her kidney failure? What if there's internal damage?!" Julian cornered the young ER doctor, water still dripping from his hair.

The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose in exhaustion. "Sir, the patient's vitals are completely stable. It's a superficial scratch that barely broke the skin."

Julian slammed his fist on the counter. "She keeps saying her back hurts! You can't just brush it off!"

Isabella reached out and gently tugged at Julian's wet sleeve, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Julian, please don't yell at the doctor. I'm feeling a lot better now. As long as you're by my side, nothing hurts anymore."

Julian's rigid posture instantly relaxed. He let out a long breath and affectionately stroked her damp hair. "You're always so understanding, Isa."

Then, looking a bit exasperated, he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed my number.

It rang twice before going straight to the automated voicemail. He dialed three more times, but every call went completely unanswered.

Julian's patience seemed to completely wear out. His face darkened as he tossed the phone onto the bed. "She is so unreasonable! All this because I didn't pull her up first? And now she's ignoring my calls! Does she really think playing the disappearing act will force me to go back and beg for her forgiveness?"

Floating beside them, I wanted to tell him that I wanted to answer the phone.

But Julian, I couldn't escape.

My phone was buried deep beneath the freezing mud, and so was my body.

I wasn't throwing a tantrum, Julian.

You're never going to see me again. And you're never going to hear me answer your call.