The Lupian Chronicles: The Wolf Series

Guilt, the emotion most of us struggle with on a daily basis. We have so many things to feel guilty about. I had plenty of them. I had lied and I’d taken what I shouldn’t have. I had killed but worst of all, I had dishonored my father.

When you’re guilty of something, the essence of that emotion scars you deeply, and the healing takes much longer than we ever thought possible. That’s if your inner wounds ever do heal. For some it doesn’t, and for others, like me, we simply switch it off.

For guilt to lessen within yourself, you have to forgive yourself first. That’s easier said than done, because, how do you forgive yourself for the sin of murder? How do you live with the guilt when you have taken everything from someone, when you’ve broken their soul, a soul that only wanted to love you?

I have done all these things, and yet it was as easy as the flick of a switch. I could turn that guilt off and that’s precisely what I did every time those emotions threatened to choke me. It was second nature to me by now, but it would threaten to break me, someday.

I was born to Malachi, the Alpha wolf, and Karani Sinclair, his mate. Being the only son of an Alpha had its privileges and its pitfalls. My father was hard on me because someday I had to be a man. I had to lead our pack, but in my mother’s eyes, I could do no wrong. Karani loved me with a fierceness that made even my father back off.

I was also born special, a rare occurrence in itself. I was gifted with the sight of shades, as Karani called it. I could see Death. I could see him stalking you, I could see the changes in your aura as Death prepared himself to take you.

I could also see and feel other people’s emotions and their pain. In a way people’s emotions were projected onto me and they became my own. Most days I wished that I didn’t have the ability to see and feel the things I did.

Being special wasn’t always a blessing, sometimes it was a curse. Being a wolf was special, shifting into your wolf form was liberating and freeing. It changed something in you, and the connection you shared with your pack was one you’d defend with your last breath.

As a future Alpha, that responsibility would one day rest on my shoulders. I’d have to lead, be an example, suffer the consequences of my decisions, make impossible choices, and pray that I succeeded.

I was five when Death encountered me. I saw him one day, just standing there, watching the world silently. I knew he was Death, as if by instinct. I could smell him. I knew he was watching someone specific. Death didn’t see me at first, he thought himself invisible to the human eye. But then, I wasn’t human, was I?

In our family lupiary, a wolf diary that every pack kept, our basic laws were written down. The books were handed down from generation to generation, each Alpha adding to it, recording everything like you would in a family Bible.

Our laws didn’t differ much from human laws but the first and most important law we had was that males weren’t allowed to mate with humans. Wolves mated with wolves because human women were fragile.

Even though we lived in the same world, our world was very different. We had human and wolf laws to follow, and that complicated our lives enough. A human would also never understand the bond a pack shared or how different we truly were.

Wolves had a code that was upheld by all the packs in the world. War was a rare occurrence and we kept mostly to ourselves. It would be fair though to say that there was an exception to every rule and those exceptions were mostly rogues.

Your life mate wasn’t chosen for you by the Moon Goddess as some would have you believe. We could fall in love with whoever we wanted. We did have fated mates, chosen by Freyja, the goddess of fertility, beauty, love, and sex.

When we imprint, we rarely reject that bond, because that bonded half is your missing piece, the perfect person for you. It was something so absolutely beautiful and perfect that the question you had to ask yourself was why you would want to reject it?

Imprinting on your soulmate meant that the goddess favored you and being pointed towards your soulmate was a privilege. You didn’t suffer death if your soulmate died, you could love again, it was crippling, yes, but not life threatening.

In my family, rejecting that bond was akin to committing a sin and an Alpha certainly never rejected the bond that he was gifted from Freyja. Pack bonds worked the same way although no imprinting took place there, you imprinted on your bonded half and your children.

Our pack wasn’t large by any standards and we rarely accepted new members. Staying in the pack was a privilege, being their born leader an even greater one. It was something I was born to do, and I was ready for it, I wanted it, more than I ever wanted anything else.

The bond of being in a pack was a powerful one and the pack would always stay together. We lived in close proximity to each other and if the Alpha left, we all left. The Alpha and Beta bond is another strong connection, one that could only end with death.

The first time I recognized disappointment in my father’s eyes though, I felt like I had cheated him. He was a good father, a good Alpha, and he was a just man. Malachi had no fear, no tolerance for lies, and he sought out the truth in everything he did.

What a pity though that I’d turn out to be the biggest liar of all, a failure to my pack, and that I’d hide all of it from both my parents. Karani was always my biggest champion, my protector and my supporter. She had an unwavering faith in me that I didn’t really deserve.

I can never describe the purity of her love accurately, only that she gave it, lived it, and breathed it. As far as mother’s went, she was the best there was. You can never replace a mother’s love, her care, or her faith, and I would never try either.

I start this story at the beginning, so you can fully understand what happened to us, and the path my life took, why I made certain decisions, some of them that would haunt me forever. Decisions I thought would protect us, but even I made mistakes. We weren’t perfect, not by a long shot.

So, let me introduce myself and share the story that is my life… and hers.