The Rogue King II

*** Silas' POV ***

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I stared at the fire. My eyes blurred as I felt the heat from the flames in front of me. I knew the fire was being stoked magically. It took a lot of heat to continue to burn a pyre. The smoke continue to rise, but it had turned to a light grey color as it burned pure.

My sister was gone. These fames burned away her mortal tether, and the smoke carried her soul to the Moon Goddess. Or so the old tales said. Right now, both my sister and the Moon Goddess could shove it.

My thoughts were a storm. A torrent of anger and grief. My sweet sister. I could see her as she spun around, her sun dress flaring out around her. The smile on her face, how the sun shone against her black hair, making it look almost blue. My baby sister, who always looked out for me. She brought joy to the house that otherwise felt dark after our mother died. Aelia was my everything and always had been my constant.

I don’t remember peaking over the bed to look at her when she was just born, but Mother always told me the story of how I feel in love at first sight. When I was little, I started off saying I would marry her. Then it morphed into being her prince and then her knight. Getting Eros, my thoughts had changed that I would be her Alpha. I’d never been whipped into shape so quickly after I said that. She kicked my ass that day.

I was twelve when we got attacked. That age where I thought I was ready for adulthood. Where I thought I was tough shit. I thought I could do it all. I took the lead. I stepped up, puffing out my chest, and followed my father with thinking I could protect the others. Goddess above, was I proven wrong.

I remember the dirt on my face. The taste of leaves in my mouth, along with the metallic tinge of blood. I remember the pain of my eye swelling up. I remember the cracked ribs along with the scrapes on my stomach as I reached out for her. The tears that filled my eyes as my arm fell to the forest floor, unable to hold myself up. All the while, Aelia hung limply on the shoulder of the rogue as they walked away. Turning their back to us, because they knew Nate and I weren’t a threat.

That day taught me exactly how weak I was. It taught me that no matter what, someone will always be stronger. Rage filled me. Rage and pain that fueled me for the next nineteen years. It only got worse as my father, my Alpha, imploded. It got worse as I realized what it took to be Alpha. Only getting worse over the years until I could feel myself skirt the edges of madness.

She had been dead before. My father said she was dead. I mean, how could someone like her survive? She was my baby sister. Sure, she was strong, but she wasn’t that strong. I mourned my sister by swearing revenge on the rogues. I swore I would destroy them all. I swore I would protect my pack and not a single person would die under my watch to rogues. I wouldn’t be like my father. I wouldn’t be weak. I would stand tall as Alpha and I would be the strength I needed to be back then to save her. To save my little sister.

All those years and all that time, she ended up stepping back into my life. She didn’t even step. She stormed in like a hurricane. Aelia swept my feet out from under me. Gone was the sweet little girl. Gone were the smiles and the giggles. Gone was the flower picking and the sun dresses. The ribbons and the ballet shoes.

What replaced those was just as much my sister. Her strength. Her power. She could command a room and bring you to your knees. She still loved to her fullest. She still dove in at one hundred percent. Except now, she wore leather and tattoos like a badge of pride. Still every bit as much of my little sister as when she was taken.

Aelia brought the chaos back. Bringing all my beliefs crumbling down around me until I felt like I was twelve again, reaching out to her. She fought for us; for me. She fought and died. There was no one else to blame this time. The things that haunted her were dead. She made sure of it. She taught me I had misdirected my anger. I’d wasted time hating the wrong people.

I hated rogues because of her and she walked back into my life as the Rogue King. As the one who could command and bring them together. The ground beneath me opened, and I had nothing to hold on to. As I carried her body, I realized that even at her weakest, I could never match her. She died for the ones she loved. Protecting the ones she loved. The same as before. All I could do was stand there. Watch as her power roared and destroyed all those in her path until she fell. Until Aelia’s body finally gave out.

The grief was almost unbearable. It choked me. It brought me to my knees; had me gasping for air. I’d lost her again. Goddess, I’d lost her again and I couldn’t even lift a finger to help. My chest rose and fell, but it was like something was crushing me. Everything was collapsing on top of me and there was nothing I could do. I was stuck here. Still weak. Still feeling like I was playing at being Alpha. Still missing her. Still wanting to reach out and steal her back. To shove her soul back into her body and tell her NOT FUCKING YET.

There was so much I needed to tell her. So much I wanted to talk to her about. I wanted to shake the secrets out of her. Even when we were little, she knew so much. Her eyes shone with things she held back. Aelia could see mate bonds, but it was so much more than that. She saw the world so differently and kept much of it from me. As she grew up, I could feel her straying. I could see the pain as the weight of her world, of her secrets, took their toll.

Now, most of them would die with her. Everything that she saw, everything that she learned, everything that she held close. All that was gone, save for any snippets she left behind. That was where my anger at her took root. That she didn’t trust me enough to talk to me. Aelia had the entire picture. The whole damn time. She had the complete picture, and she looked at me every single time before choosing to keep me in the dark.

Hell, I didn’t even care about all the other shit I’m sure she knew. I didn’t care about the Alpha King. I didn’t care about the Hunters. I didn’t care about the things she supposedly set up for our future. I didn’t care! I didn’t…my eyes slid shut against the heat.

I would have liked to know that it was my fault. My fault that she felt like she couldn’t have Nate. I would have liked to know so she could get rid of this golden thread. I would have liked to know what the hell she was thinking to allow this to come to life. Why she pushed it so much? Why in the goddess’ name would she push Nate to be my mate? Why she would ever think that it would make me happy? Why she couldn’t have done something…anything about it?

Her words gave hope to me. Hope to Nate too. That the two of us wouldn’t fall into madness. That we wouldn’t be alone. That there was something out there for both of us. Except she kept out the part that it was us. She kept out the part that everything she came here for was because my best friend, my brother, my Beta, was my supposed mate. It made me angry just thinking about it. It made me want to bring her back to throttle her.

Not to mention that this was the Moon Goddess’ fucked up decision. A bond forged in death? Whose stupid idea was that? Who thought it would be okay for someone to die in order for someone to get a mate? I was on the out. I was the one who had to wait. I was the one that had to survive without a link. Then my sister’s death is what finally forged our ultimate bond? And then that link ended up being the one person I considered my brother? What kind of fucked up shit was this?

I continued to drink from the bottle of whiskey Aelia’s Beta, Keri, had given me. Aelia said she didn’t want anyone sober at her funeral. Otherwise, she would haunt us. Looking down at the bottle, I wondered if I should just throw it in the fire. Maybe her haunting me would mean I could ask her more questions. Talk to her more. See her more. Hold her…one more time.

Nate had asked me where we would go from here. The problem was, I didn’t know. The ground had been swept out from under me and I felt myself falling. I didn’t even feel secure in being Alpha. Yes, my pack was safe despite the threat of the Hunters. I didn’t need to worry about them, at least for a while. It could almost go back to business as usual, but it wasn’t by my strength. It wasn’t anything I had done.

I took another drink. Looking at the bottle, I was almost halfway done. Grimacing, I put the glass to my lips and tried to drink it like I would a soda. I got about four or five gulps in before I couldn’t take it anymore. Coughing, I hit my chest.

Charles told me not to make any serious decisions right now. That we all were emotional, but I wondered if that was actually better. Everything felt raw, and I wanted it to heal. He recently mated with my Gamma, Sam. As a human, he didn’t understand. Sure, he’d known of our world and was one of my best friends, but that didn’t mean he really understood. We were wolves. We thrived on instinct and deciding in the moment. It was only when our human side came into play that it got complicated.

Though, if Eros had his way, he would have already marked and mated Nate. He had no qualms about taking him as our goddess given mate. Taking a deep breath, I stared back into the fire. What did Aelia think would come of this? She knew all this time. Even when we were little. I wondered if she would have handled it differently. Or if she would have still sacrificed herself for me.

That was a stupid question. Of course she would. Who knows how long she actually would have lived with us. Seeing our bond and watching me fall as Nate continued to grow more attached to her. Aelia was too sweet and too kind. Even now. Everything was for me, for us, and I hated it.

Before I could imagine anything else, I downed the last of the whiskey. The bottle still felt so heavy in my hand as it fell to my side. Growling, I threw it into the pyre. The glass broke and the alcohol that was left caught fire, exploding out towards me. Goddess be damned. This all was going to hell in a hand-basket.