When A Soldier Loves

The sky was filled with invisible sparks of joy. The air carried around the sounds of laughter to places that it hadn t reached, the mornings of Eid had always been one to remember. From the way the morning started, the ambience that was filled with sheer joy and happiness. The endless smiles and love shared between muslims, and how everyone got glam in his or her best attire for the next two days to come was something she had always looked up to in Eid. And yes, the delicious food included.

But for this Eid, she was a little less excited and a part of her heart was also overjoyed. She looked up at the sky and saw the stars hanging even though it was a morning sky, so blue that she wondered if she could reach it, touch it, nothing could stop her hand from staining this perfection of color. It was Eid-ul-Adha, yet Baaba said he had no means to make the sacrifice that was known to be made. She wanted to eat the meat, to roam around the house-even though unnoticed-as Intisar took care of the meat while she helped her panned the woods when she felt like it.

But he said he had no money, and Intisar seemed to be okay with it, elated even. And she asked if him they could go to the Eid ground to watch the Durbar show, and he gladly agreed. Maybe that was his way of getting them off the disappointment of not being able to make their sacrifice this Eid. She was happy to go to the Eid ground for the first time in her life, even though a bit anxious, knowing so well she would be bullied by the girls there.

She heard the chuckles of young girls that would probably be her age as they ran around their house, probably rushing to go so they could get the front row in the durbar ground. "Maryam!" Intisar called from the kitchen, where she had finished setting Baaba s lunch in the small bowl he used to take to the farm. Maryam wanted to ask him why he had to go to the farm on Eid day but she couldn t bring herself to. Rather, she watched her father got donned in his last Eid s outfit, looking a bit younger than his age with a smile so wide she doubted if ?he hadn t been given the beautiful clouds she had admired just minutes ago.

She didn t answer her elder sister, but she stood up and went to the small kitchen that was clogged with the smoke of the woods. "Move away, you ll smell of the woods, okay?" Intisar had uttered while she came out of the kitchen herself. She stared at her for a moment, trying so hard to assimilate what she had said but she had spoken so fast that she seemed to have missed a word that would make her actually understand what she wanted her to do.

So, she stood there. Her Eid glam ever so beautiful, as Intisar said when they both finished getting ready. She barely looked into the mirror, but she did that today and she only smiled a little before she wordlessly returned the mirror back to her sister, something about her eyes making her uncomfortable.

She felt Intisar s hands on her shoulders as she stared into her eyes with her motherly, yet sisterly smile plastered on her lips. "Maryam," she called out softly, in a way that told her that her sister wanted her to focus on her lips, so she would easily grasp what she was going to say. "I said you should stay away from the kitchen unless you want to smoke like the woods. Which practically means, go back to where you were sitting, I'll talk from here and you ll be able to hear me, okay?" Maryam was silent for a minute before she nodded her head and turned back to where she was and sat down.

Intisar smiled at her and before she could say a word, Baaba was back into the house with something in his hand. They all turned their heads towards him and he went to where Maryam sat and found a space on the mat and sat down as well. He motioned for Intisar to come over and she did so, happily.

"Are you done with the meal?" He asked Intisar and she nodded her head at him.

"Yes, Baaba. But y all are just going to the farm to have something like a reunion in your Eid clothes and good food, right? None of you will work?" He laughed, and that was when she realized she had asked that question countless times this morning and his answer had always been the same.

"Yes, Intisar. We re just going to laugh over some memories and gist, to enjoy ourselves. I can t have these clothes ruined, you know?" He looked up at his perfectly sewn clothes with a smile, "It s the only good clothe I have, I treasure it a lot."

Intisar nodded her head with a soft smile even though his words had ached her heart a bit. Maryam only watched them conversed as she picked little of what they had said. At times like this when they chatted like the normal people they were, so fast and happily, all she did was stared at them and wondered how they could talk that fast and still understand what they meant.

"Here, I got something for the two of you." He began fumbling through the nylon and excitement showed itself on Maryam s face while she silently waited. He brought out a pair of glasses. Two black glasses that instantly made Intisar squeal with joy but Maryam just stood there, wondering. He brought out the last thing in the nylon, a perfume and the sound of Intisar s laughter was what filled Maryam s ears now.

He handed Maryam one of the glasses and she gladly took it. "That's your own, I saw some girls wearing it while going to the Durbar ground and I know you d certainly like one, too." Intisar had already taken hers and donned it over her beautiful face, beaming at them both that Maryam couldn t help but admire the beautiful sister she had. "Oh! Just take a look at yourself, Intisar!" Baaba teased and they burst out laughing.

"And this perfume is for all of us. We can only use it on Fridays and on special occasions so it will last long, okay? It s my Eid gift since we can t have some meat this Eid." He turned to Maryam and smiled so warmly at her, "I ll spray it on you," he was careful while spraying it on her, careful not to touch her body because he knew; it was only Intisar that mostly touched her unaware and she wouldn t fret.

She stayed still while he did that and the fragrance instantly filled her nostrils. She smiled at him now, "Thank you, Baaba." These were the first words she had uttered since she had woken up today, and her family had said words to her that she wouldn t even be able to count.

He watched his hand got to her head and expected a touch, "That s my girl. May ?Allah bless you both." The raise of the Ameen came from Intisar as he handed her the perfume and she sprayed it herself.

They walked out of the house together with Baaba and while he locked the worn out iron door of the house, he was smiling at the both of them. They had to follow different directions, and before he turned to his way, he fondled both their heads and smiled at them before he walked off. Intisar shouted her goodbye at him while he laughed and turned to the corner that had always led him to his farm.

She turned to Maryam when they both couldn t see him anymore and smiled, "Let me fix the glass for you." She had said, because she clearly knew that whenever they were outside their house, Maryam wasn t easily touched, even by her. And she wanted her baby sister to have the best first and best Eid of her life. She had always been home in all the Eids she had celebrated, this was the first one she was outside.

She fixed the glass for her and smiled, seeing that her eyes were covered and no one would even notice her to say something bad or frighten the little girl. "Let s go, we have to walk for some time and I want us to watch it from the beginning." Seeing the way Intisar was so excited with the durbar made Maryam wondered if it was so good. She had no idea what it meant or what they would see, but she knew people would be there and that was enough to make her anxious.

They walked in silence, their hands entwined as Intisar swung their hands excitedly. When Maryam began seeing the troops of people over yonder, she started to trudge and Intisar turned to her with a soft smile, "I'm here, Mero," she said, as she fondly called her whenever she wanted to assure her of something. "No one will hurt you, okay? And you have glasses on your eyes, will they be able to see your eyes?" She accessed the words and became a bit calm while she shook her head and Intisar smiled. "That s my sister. Now, let s go and enjoy our Eid like everyone else."

They maneuvered their ways through the crowd and Maryam knew she wouldn t have taken the next step if it weren't for her sister. Intisar managed to get them a spot to stand, amidst the crowd and where they could be able to see the durbar display of the royal families and the aristocracies. Their village, Magumeri was loved by all and their durbar was one of the best, attended by many.

In many villages, no durbar display was held and one would have to go to the main town of Maiduguri to watch any Eid display one wanted. But in their village, it happened. Their head of the village was given the permission by his Royal Highness to perform the durbar show so that not everyone among the nearby villages will have to go to Maiduguri for that, they had since been so grateful to the King. Even though, her friend, Sarah had once told her that the durbar show in Maiduguri would no where be compared with that of Magumeri when she had spent her Eid in one of her Uncles s houses, Intisar wondered if she would be able to see the durbar show of Maiduguri as Sarah exaggerated it.

It had started for over twenty minutes now, there were men on the back of their horses and the melodious sound of algaita that announced the presence of the royal families. She was aware of how Maryam had clutched her hand and she bent down a bit, "Are you alright, Maryam?" She asked, and she instantly looked up at her as though she had been waiting for her to speak.

"I feel suffocated, Inti." Intisar smiled, whenever Maryam called her name it had always never been her complete name as though she would get tired if she called her full name. But she loved how it sounded on her tongue, the accent she had always used that Intisar wondered how she was able to speak that way, or was it because she hardly spoke?

"We can move back if you want to breathe well." She looked up at what was going on before them, "There s nothing much to watch after all." She lied. But she had lied on several occasions for her sister s sake and she had never felt bad about it. Her sister was her top priority and no matter how much she would love to watch the show, if Maryam was uncomfortable here, she would easily give it up.

Maryam stared at the concern etched on her face and decided to do something for her sister today. She was aware of how she had nearly ranted off her ears yesterday at how amazing her friends had said the durbar was and since Baaba had agreed for them to go, she wouldn t keep calm. And a few seconds ago before Intisar had asked her, she had seen the smile on her lips, which meant she was enjoying everything.

So, even though what Maryam wanted was to get out of here as quickly as she could, she shook her head. "No, I want to watch it up close." She was glad at the smile that immediately graced itself on Intisar s face.

"Don t hesitate to tell me if you want something..." She wasn t able to finish with what she was saying when the whole ground shook, and in the next few seconds it only took for everything to register into everyone s mind, the next thing they all heard was the sound of gunshots, people crying and wailing as they ran for their lives. The bomb planted at the other end of the village which had shook the ground blasting off so badly that they wondered if it wouldn't reach their location.

Panic surged into Intisar s body like flame and she tightened her hold on Maryam s wrist as she looked around, frantically, to find a way for them to run. To escape, to get to Baaba knowing so well he would protect them. "Let s run, Maryam!" People were trampled on and being killed by footsteps than they were, by the gunshots of the insurgents that decided the Eid day was the perfect day to raid their village.

Tears instantly washed over Maryam s face as they ran. She removed her glass just like she saw Intisar did and the amount of people that were dispersed to a different direction was something Maryam would never forget in her life. How children cried at the terror of it all, how the sounds of gunshots threatened to deafen her ears and the way Intisar kept pulling her as they ran faster, her heartbeat escalating as she wondered if Baaba was safe. She knew wherever he was now, he was worried sick about them, yet he knew he had no place to begin his search. Someone fell dead right before her and she watched the bullet that had gone through his head and how blood oozed out of his body. She wanted to scream, but Intisar had already ran away from the body as fast as she had seen it fell. And momentarily, Maryam closed her eyes as she silently wished everything was nothing but a dream.

He had wanted to run back to his chamber the minute they were back from the durbar show, but it seemed His Majesty had something to speak with him about. First, it was the royal lunch that even if he wanted, he would have to wait for it to be over before he can be alone, rest and sleep like every other human did. The royal lunch had been gruesome, with annoying step brothers, cousins and uncles that chattered non stop that he wanted to shout at them all to give his ears some break, he had heard enough noise for today at the durbar ground.

But as he followed Abba into his private living room, he wondered what this was about. It was hard being what he were, and he was trying as hard as he could to balance these two lives of his that seemed to require much more of his time and attention than his actual self. "Sit," Abba ordered, and that was when he realized that they had already walked into the living room and he found the sofa closest to that of Abba and sat down.

"Eid Mubarak once again..." He let his words trailed off because he didn t know what he would refer to his father as today. They were alone, surely, but he didn t know if his father had asked to see him as a king or simply the father he was to him. The soft and comforting smile he saw on his father s face was enough, "Abba. I hope you d have a stress free day." They both chuckled at that, because they both knew having a stress free day would be the last thing he would have.

He cleared his throat and brought back the solemnity of the room and he turned his entire attention back to him. "Na im," he called out, and he knew this was going to be a tough one. He wasn t going to ask him to resign from his job, please. That had been the only thing that could make his father so serious to call his name.

"Yes, Abba." He slightly bowed his head and waited for the worse. But he wasn t the only one into the profession now, and he knew even if he had agreed to resign out of obedience, his step brother would never do that.

His father chuckled, seeing the expression on his face. "I'm not going to ask you to resign from your job, Na im, you re pale. We re done with that, right?" He eased off and gave way to a small smile. "I asked to talk to you about your marriage. It had been set two weeks from today, what are we going to do about it now?"

He looked down. Last month, they had this conversation and he told him he wanted to break off the engagement. There was no way he would be getting married to a wife he didn t even know her name even though everyone claimed he had been in love with her. "I'm sorry, Abba. I can ask around for her number and call off the engagement myself."

Abba shook his head and relaxed back on his chair, "You don t have to do that. Her father had already called and he did that himself, regrettably. He said that she had been crying and even had to be admitted into the hospital because of what had happened between the two of you..."

His phone rang, and when he touched his pocket, it was a phone he had to pick no matter who he was together with. He instantly rose and his father smiled with a mock salute and that eased Na im s mind. "Duty calls, right?" He nodded his head, itching to get out so he would be able to answer the call. "Off you go, Na im. Just keep your promise, be safe. And take care of your brother too, okay?" He nodded and bowed his head before he rushed out of the living, rushing to bring the phone out of his pocket, wondering which village it was now.