When My Heart Died, He Loved Me

When My Heart Died, He Loved Me

Marina Vale · Ongoing · 182.7k Words

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Introduction

I was dying — and he was loving someone else.
I left.
Now he wants me back… but will I let him?

Chapter 1

"Ms. Sterling, we need to schedule surgery immediately to remove the tumor..."

Clutching the pathology report confirming malignant cancer, Joanna Sterling's first instinct was to call Justin Lawson.

The phone rang endlessly. No answer. Then she heard his voice—not through the phone, but echoing across the hospital lobby.

She stopped walking.

On the massive screen mounted in the center of the waiting area, a man in an impeccably tailored suit stood at a podium. His chiseled features, usually so cold and severe, had softened into an expression of warmth as he read from prepared remarks. Justin.

As his speech concluded, Justin presented the award with both hands to the woman beside him, his eyes radiating a tenderness Joanna had never seen in three years of marriage.

Murmurs rippled through the crowd of waiting patients and visitors.

"Can you believe the robotics design competition was won by a woman? And she's gorgeous too."

"You don't know the half of it. One of the judges is her childhood sweetheart—he basically carried her through the whole competition. See that guy presenting the award? Justin Lawson, CEO of Lawson Corporation. With that kind of backing, who else was going to win?"

"That's not entirely fair. Lillian Scott has a PhD in engineering from Novaria University. She's elite tier, both here and abroad. She earned this on merit, not connections."

"No wonder Justin went to all that trouble for her. Childhood sweethearts means their families are equals. Plus she's brilliant. They're basically a perfect match..."

Perfect match.

The words echoed in Joanna's head as the room began to spin.

A wave of nausea and dizziness forced her to lean against the cold hospital wall. By the time she steadied herself, Lillian had finished her acceptance speech and the broadcast had ended.

Justin should be free now. Joanna tried calling again.

"What is it?" His voice was ice.

The warmth from moments ago had vanished entirely, replaced by barely concealed irritation. Joanna's words caught in her throat.

Before she could speak, a bright, cheerful voice rang out in the background: "Justin, how are you going to celebrate with me?"

"Hold on." Justin's tone transformed—soft, indulgent.

Then he was back on the line, his voice flat with contempt. "I'm busy. Don't call me unless it's urgent. We'll talk when I get home."

The line went dead.

Joanna stared at her darkened phone screen, blinking slowly, mechanically.

After a few seconds, she let out a bitter laugh.

That night, Justin didn't come home.

Joanna saw a video posted by Justin's cousin on social media. Everyone was gathered around Lillian, toasting her success.

Justin stood at her side. When their eyes met, his gaze held nothing but devotion.

In the darkness of the bedroom, Joanna's hands and feet were ice cold.

She turned up the thermostat, powered off her phone, and lay down.

Justin hadn't been home in a week. Tonight would probably be no different.

With that thought, she drifted into a restless sleep—so light that when the bedroom door opened hours later, she woke immediately.

She sat up as the lights flicked on, squinting against the sudden brightness. By the time her eyes adjusted, all she caught was Justin's back as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Joanna glanced at the clock. Past midnight.

He actually came home.

Didn't need to stay with his first love tonight?

Sleep was impossible now. She sat in a daze until the lights dimmed and the mattress dipped beside her.

Justin's arm wrapped around her waist, his face buried in the crook of her neck. "You called earlier. What did you want?"

His breath was warm against her skin, but beneath it she detected something else—a faint, sweet fragrance.

She knew that scent.

Every time Justin spent time with Lillian, he brought it home. Even after showering, it lingered.

Joanna's heart hammered. She placed her hand over his, biting her lower lip, saying nothing.

Justin's patience was thin. "If you're not going to talk, I'm going to assume you called for the usual reason."

She didn't have the energy to talk right now.

And she certainly didn't have the energy for sex.

She was exhausted.

"Let's just sleep. We can talk tomorrow." Joanna pushed against him.

In the darkness, Justin's eyes narrowed.

Joanna had never refused him before. This was new.

He immediately connected it to the phone call—to him hanging up on her because of Lillian.

"Are you throwing a tantrum?"

His tone was accusatory. Then came the lecture: "You know Lillian's grandfather just died. He asked me on his deathbed to look after her. Don't be petty about this."

"I know. You're honoring a promise to an elder. I'm not upset."

Joanna's voice was calm, but to Justin it sounded sarcastic.

He scoffed. "If you're not upset, stop acting like a child."

His hands continued their exploration. "Joanna, don't forget why you're in this house. What gives you the right to refuse me?"

Joanna's resistance faltered.

Three years ago, she'd agreed to a marriage alliance with the Lawson family. The Lawsons bailed out Sterling Enterprises, and she became Justin's wife.

Unfortunately, three years later, she still hadn't gotten pregnant.

Joanna was exhausted. When she woke the next morning, Justin had already eaten breakfast and left.

Today she wanted something sweet in her oatmeal. She got up to fetch sugar from the kitchen, but froze in the doorway.

The housekeeper, Mary, had her back turned. She pulled out a small bottle and quickly poured white powder into a freshly brewed pot of herbal medicine.

Joanna watched in silence, then quietly backed away and returned to her seat.

Two minutes later, a bowl of dark liquid appeared beside her plate.

"Mrs. Lawson, your medicine is ready. Drink it while it's hot."

Mary stood watching, as she always did.

Mary had been sent by Justin's grandmother to "help" Joanna. The herbal medicine was also prescribed by Grandmother Lawson's personal physician, supposedly to improve Joanna's fertility.

In the past, Joanna had assumed Mary monitored her to report back to the old woman. Now she wasn't so sure.

"I haven't finished breakfast yet. I'll drink it later."

"You're eating too slowly. Drink it now before it gets cold." Mary's tone was insistent.

Joanna looked up, her gaze cold and sharp. Mary flinched, clearly surprised that the usually docile Joanna could look so fierce.

But the moment passed. Mary pressed on: "Mrs. Lawson, you haven't conceived in three years. Mrs. Lawson Senior specifically instructed me to make sure you drink this every single day. If you're worried about the taste and refuse, I'll have to call her and ask if we can stop the treatment. Should I do that?"

Joanna set down her spoon. She picked up the medicine bowl, sniffed it, swallowed back bile, and drank it down.

Setting the empty bowl on the table, she ignored Mary's smug expression and walked back to her bedroom, where she immediately vomited everything into the toilet.

Half an hour later, Joanna mailed out a package.

That afternoon, a lab report arrived in her email inbox.

As she read the contents, Joanna's face went ashen. Her hand trembled on the mouse.

The "fertility medicine" contained massive amounts of contraceptive hormones.

No wonder her previously healthy body had been diagnosed with severe hormonal imbalance after marriage—a condition that made pregnancy nearly impossible.

The contraceptives had destroyed her fertility.

Joanna stormed downstairs toward Mary's quarters. As she reached the door, a voice drifted out:

"I remember what Mr. Lawson said—she doesn't deserve to bear his children..."

Joanna stopped dead.

Mary continued: "Don't worry, ma'am. Before, I was afraid of getting caught, so I could only add small amounts to her soup. But now that I'm putting it in her medicine, I can use much higher doses. She'll never know the difference."

Mr. Lawson.

Justin.

Joanna felt the strength drain from her body. Dizzy, disoriented, she somehow made it back to her room, though she couldn't remember walking there.

Her phone rang for a long time before she registered the sound.

It was Justin's grandmother.

"Joanna, dear, you and Justin are coming for dinner tonight. And don't forget to pick up the new prescription I had the specialist prepare for you."

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