Alpha Bella

Bella’s pov.

“He left,” I whispered quietly into the phone, my pulse racing from the adrenaline rushing through my body.

“Who left, Bella?” My best friend, Brooke, asked on the other side of the line, her voice tinged with worry.

“Garett, he left Megan and I. He found her…” I said out loud for once, a shudder racking my body at the reality of it all, “he found her and he left us. For good.”

“What about the pack? What are you supposed to do?” She said nervously, making me chuckle.

“I am their Luna. I will lead them,” I said with strength I didn’t know I possessed still, my wolf’s anger and strength feeding into me.

“Won’t you become the alpha? Since he’s gone… you have to be careful, Bella. People will challenge you for the alpha position. We both know nobody challenged Garett because he’s the strongest werewolf!” Brooke whispered into the phone, something distracting her.

“Is this a bad time for you?” I asked, my eyebrows raised as I heard chatter on the other side of the phone.

“Well… I was in the middle of something, but it’s over now so don’t worry about it,” she giggled, sounds of muffled voices mixed together in the background make me curious.

“Who are you with?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“He’s- nobody. His name is Emmett, we just hooked up but it was a one time thing,” she said casually, making me roll my eyes.

She always does this. I guess Emmett was her new toy this week.

Without a word I hang up the phone and toss it onto the floor.

My heart feels like it’s been tossed into a blender, carelessly tearing it apart.

Taking my pillow I shove it onto my face and scream as loud as I can, trying to let my anger out.

Seven years. Seven years of trying, seven years of begging for his time, for his love and attention.

“Mommy?” I heard the sweet voice of my five year old daughter, “mommy, what’s wrong?”

Her voice sounded so sad, so quiet.

“Megan!” I said in surprise. I thought she was still asleep, she must have sensed my distress, “I’m okay; nothing's wrong. Why are you up, sweetheart?”

“I heard something and it woke me up, I thought I’d come to sleep with you,” she said, yawning.

Taking a look around my room her little face scrunches up in confusion, “where is daddy?”

And at those words my heart drops into my stomach, “he’s- he’s not here right now… and I don’t know when he’ll be back. But everything will be okay, you have me,” I said, placing a hand on her back hoping she doesn’t think too much into it.

“Okay,” she shrugged her tiny shoulders, her face lighting up with a smile, “can I still sleep here with you?”

“Of course. Come here,” I gestured beside me, helping her crawl into the bed and tucking her under the blankets.

My heartbeat pounded in my chest, not knowing how to keep her heart from breaking at her fathers choices.

“Sweet dreams,” I whispered as I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, my chest tight.

Once I heard her breathing even out and the sounds of her light snoring, I did my best to sneak out of bed.

Walking into the kitchen I flicked the lights on and opened the junk drawer beside the sink, grabbing my cigarettes and lighter. I sneaked outside, careful not to wake Megan again.

Placing the cigarette in between my lips I place the flame on the end and take a shaky inhale of breath.

I sat there staring off into the distance with tears in my eyes, nothing I did mattered.

I loved him, I loved him with everything I had and it meant nothing to him.

I didn’t even know about her, his first love.

He did a good job at keeping secrets.

As soon as he found her he left, as if our relationship was just a replacement for her. Like I was her shadow.

Wiping the tears away from my face I put the cigarette out in my ashtray and made my way back into the kitchen, washing my hands I decided to make some coffee, not able to fall asleep anytime soon.

After I made my coffee I grabbed a soft blanket and curled up on the couch, pulling my laptop open and signing into our bank account.

“What!” I said in disbelief as I saw the big fat zero on my screen, “he-he took everything!” I sobbed, uncontrollable laughter bubbling up my throat, making me feel crazy.

How could he do this to me? To us? Megan is still his daughter, even if he left us he should’ve still left me something to support her with.

“That piece of-“ I started to say angrily before my phone pinged with a message.

I clenched my teeth while I picked it up.

Brooke- meet me at my place tomorrow night, we have lots to talk about.

Not replying, I tossed my phone away, not wanting anything to do with it right now.

I feel like I could just disappear and never look back but for the sake of my pack I can’t. I must stay for them, to be the leader they deserve.

‘Tundra?’ I whispered to my wolf, confusion and despair swirling within me.

‘Yes, Bella?’ She responded instantly, making me smile slightly. Knowing I’ll never truly be alone as long as I have her.

‘What do I do now? What do we do now?’ I asked lost. Unsure of what my future holds without the mate bond.

‘We survive, we live, we lead,’ she whispered, not giving me an actual answer, the comfort I seek is not there, making my emotions continue to spiral.

Rolling my eyes I chuckle because my wolf has always been this way, so mysterious, so kept to herself…

Closing my laptop I decided to focus on that later.

There’s so much to do, so much to figure out.

I do have an account Garret didn’t know about with about five thousand in it in case of emergencies, which in my opinion this is an emergency.

Hopefully the pack funds are still in place and he didn’t take those too.

Getting up and stretching my sore limbs I make my way back to my bedroom, not mine and Garrets, just mine now.

Seeing Megan still sleeping peacefully I smiled and decided to use the bathroom in the hall instead of mine.

Memories of Garret and I in that shower haunting me.

His naked body, wet against mine…

I shaked my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts.

Back when we first met things were great. Real.

Until we had Megan. That’s when everything changed.

Slowly getting into the shower, I let the water cascade down my aching muscles. Feeling the tension slowly slipping away.

“Goddess, guide me. I don’t know what to do from here… I dedicated my whole life to Garret. I- I don’t know who I am without him,” I whispered, still so unsure of how to continue on.