Bloodlust

The office was in its usual state of chaos, the kind that she enjoyed when she was trying to escape from her mind’s prison, and maybe she was fine taking it in one last time. Sentimental, but this had been her home for years and she felt guilty hanging her cap now.

There was something off about this place now that once appealed to the young girl fresh out of training with bright eyes, a brilliant mind and a do-good nature. Then, she wanted to change the world and write her name in the sands of time, but years of service had altered that dream, taking pieces of her soul as she was forced to face harsh reality.

A light tap on her shoulder broke her spell, and she looked up at one of her colleague, momentarily blinded by his bright smile.

“Nice catch on the Harrison case, you looked into his wife when none of us suspected a thing.” He made a move as if he wanted to tap her shoulder again, and dropped his arm, knowing it wouldn’t be tolerated a second time.

“Thank you” She said, wanting to go back to her peace and quiet. It had been a fairly easy case for her to crack open, and some of the guys didn’t like that she did, including this overachiever invading her space.

“Chad wanted to know if you were up for drinks, we’re going to the local bar down on fifth.” He pointed his thumb behind him, and she moved to the side to see his chubby partner wave in their direction, she didn’t return the gesture.

“Thank you for the offer but I have a few files to look at and I don’t think you boys would like me bringing work to the table.” His nose flared at the term ‘boys’, he tried to smile but all she saw was a badly hidden grimace.

“Another time then” He angled his body to leave, probably thinking she would have a change of mind in a nano second, but she stared at him unblinking until he finally left.

Not waiting for the stares that would be thrown in her direction when he joined his companion, she closed her eyes in a desperate bid to grasp at the straws of the serenity that had been interrupted.

A phone rang, someone slammed their hand on a table, several laughs echoed in the air sided with a few curses and another annoyingly slurped their coffee. A smile appeared on her lips, relaxing her face as she took it in all in.

“Carys”

She almost growled at the sound of her name as her perfectly made up world came crashing down, everyone was looking at her and she raised her head to find her handler and boss beckoning her into his office.

The short walk felt longer with all the eyes following her, and the low whispers that she ached to hear, but her skin bristled at the tiny insecurity. She didn’t need to know what these idiots thought of her.

“Shut the door” Brent didn’t raise his head, reading the content of the paper in his beefy hands.

Carys obeyed, standing in the spot. He hadn’t asked her to sit and her brief time in the army had etched certain manners in her soul she couldn’t scrub off. Her eyes touched every picture in his office like they did every time she was summoned, there was no change.

“How was your leave?” He asked, pulling his glasses down to look at her. “I was surprised when I heard you were here, you have two more weeks before you’re needed here, do I need to order you to stay away from the office?”

“Two more weeks for Chase and Buster to run around with their case, and leave an innocent man running out of his mind in prison? I did both of us a favor” She raised a perfectly drawn brow, smiling when he laughed.

“I heard about you helping them with the case, if you were that bored I would have assigned you to one of our cold cases, we need fresh eyes on them from time to time” Brent finally gestured to a chair and Carys sat.

“I am more than bored, Brent.” Carys crossed and uncrossed her legs, thinking of how she was going to say what was on her mind. “There is something I have been thinking about and going on leave solidified my feelings.”

Brent leaned forward, “What’s the problem? Did something happen?” The genuine concern in his voice almost uncorked the bottle of emotions in her chest, but she held firm.

Looking into the eyes of the man that was the only thing close to family she had, Carys looked away. “I have my resignation letter on my desk”

Brent didn’t speak for a while and she took the time to study her hands. After an uncomfortable silence she raised her head to find him watching her with a kind of intensity she wasn’t used to

“Are you unhappy?” Was she? Unsettled, yes; unhappy? No

“I am not leaving because I can’t sleep at night if that’s what you mean.” Carys slept fine under the delusion that everything she had done was for the greater good and tried very hard not to upset that mind fuck balance. “There’s just no excitement anymore, I see most of these cases and I don’t even want to look at them.”

Brent nodded, scratching his full beard with the blunt end of his glasses. “I noticed that, which is why I sent you on leave, hoping you would bounce back into it- why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

Carys sighed. “I didn’t know where to start and I thought coming back here was going to help me jump back into it like you said, but it’s the same old feeling choking me. I want out.”

Brent fell silent again, and a slight sense of panic made her legs bounce under the table. She didn’t know what to expect when she dropped her news, and she had imagined a lot of scenarios, a few where he shook his head in disappointment but none where he was silent.

“What do you know about the Valachi brothers?” It was an odd question and totally off point, but he spoke before she could respond. “We have one chance to infiltrate their organization and take them out once and for all.”

The pictures of the Valachi brothers had been pinned to her criminal board for years and even though she took down almost everyone that graced her board, she had never gotten close to the two at the top.

What did she know about them? Every goddamn thing there was to know. An old welcome tingle warmed her belly when Brent slid a folder slowly her way.

“This contains everything we have, what you need to memorize and the information you should know, because you’ll be going in as an ordinary uncomplicated citizen.” He pinned the file to the table when she touched it. “I recommended you for the job but if you still wish to resign, you cannot look into this file.”

Carys weighed her chances, thinking of the road trip she convinced herself she would plan the moment she handed in her resignation letter and the hopeful tilt in – Shannon- her estranged mother’s voice when she half promised she might visit for Christmas.

The pep talk she had given herself in the mirror barely eight hours ago grew foggy, replaced by the warmth of a familiar friend  and the – everything paled in comparison to the excitement thrumming through her veins – burning curiosity silenced the numerous voices in her head fighting to break through the surface.

She took the file.