Done Being the Good Girl

Elise's POV

Preston Ashford and I made a promise to get into UCLA together.

I held onto that promise through all of senior year, surviving on four hours of sleep a night. Then results day came, and I found out someone had logged into my application and changed it.

I only ever gave Preston my password.

I storm over to confront him and catch Vanessa Ashby, the daughter of an old family friend, the one everyone tiptoed around because of her depression, laughing. "Preston, what do you think Elise looked like when she found out?"

Preston lets out a lazy laugh. "She'll freak out, obviously. Girl's wound so tight, might as well get some use out of her."

Vanessa has depression, and I'm the one who's supposed to make her laugh.

I'm the one who ate dirt at track meets. I'm the one who got laughed at for singing off-key. I'm the one everyone pointed and laughed at. And every time she doubled over laughing, Preston told me I was a good girl.

I turned myself into a joke, just to get a little scrap of kindness thrown my way.

But not this time. I'm done playing the clown.

The conversation picks back up behind closed doors.

"I bet she's losing it right now," Vanessa says, laughing.

Preston snorts. "Isn't that what you wanted, watching her lose her mind? Consider it your gift for the day."

"She's not that bad, honestly." Vanessa's eyes are bright even as she covers her mouth. "But what if she actually gets mad?"

"She wouldn't dare." Preston raises an eyebrow. "Elise Carter, without me? Please. She'll pout for a couple days and get over it. Besides, once we're at UCLA together, the last thing I need is her hanging off me like dead weight."

I grip the doorframe hard enough to hurt, but I don't feel a thing.

So this is it. Twelve years of sticking by his side, twelve years of tiptoeing around trying to please him, twelve years of bending my whole life around his. And to him, I was just a prop for making some other girl laugh.

I push the door open and walk in.

Preston freezes for a second, then his mouth curls into that careless grin. "Oh, you checked your scores? What's with that face, you happy or something?"

Vanessa leans in, fake concern all over her face, reaching for my hand. "Elise, don't be mad at Preston, okay? He just thinks you're too uptight sometimes. He was just messing with you."

I step back before she can touch me. My eyes stay on Preston. "Why did you change my application? Do you even know Northwestern is in Chicago?"

Preston frowns. "What do you mean, why? You know Vanessa's been dealing with that thing since she was a kid. She barely laughs a few times a year. Look how happy this made her. And come on, college is college no matter where you go. The north's not bad, you'll get to see snow. Plus if you're at UCLA too, you'll be hanging off me every five minutes. I need my own space sometimes."

He says it like I owe him a thank you.

Vanessa steps closer, smiling wide. "Elise, don't take it so personal. It was just a joke. Thanks for thinking of me, Preston... and thanks to you too, for going along with it again. Watching you panic actually made me feel a lot better."

I look at the face I'd been in love with for twelve years, and it feels like a stranger's.

Ever since I was six, when I moved into the staff wing of the Ashford estate as the driver's daughter, I've been his shadow.

Vanessa has depression, and I became the one responsible for cheering her up.

Whenever she was in a mood, I'd get stuck with some hacked-up bangs and her hand-me-downs, making a fool of myself in front of everyone. Preston would say, "Elise, just humor her, would you? If it gets Vanessa to laugh, that's worth more than anything."

So over and over, I humiliated myself. Vanessa would laugh so hard she couldn't stand straight, and Preston would pat my head and tell me I was a good girl.

I turned myself into a clown for everyone's entertainment, just to earn a little kindness he doled out now and then.

And now he'd wrecked something I'd worked toward for years, like it was nothing.

"Preston, let's break up." I hear my own voice come out steady, steady enough to surprise even me.

The room goes dead silent for two seconds. Then Preston laughs.

"Wow, look at you, Elise. Threatening to break up with me over an application? Seriously? It's not like it's permanent, just go home and switch it back yourself. Why are you making this such a huge deal?"

That one careless line cuts through the last thread of whatever pathetic attachment I still had for him.

Crying in front of someone like him would only convince him I couldn't live without him. It would only feed the rush he got from playing the forgiving hero.

"Fine." I lower my eyes, playing along. "I'll switch it back when I get home."

Seeing me back down, the tension drains from Preston's face, and that smug grin comes right back.

He ruffles my hair. "See, that's more like it. Being good isn't so hard, is it? Take it easy the next few days, I'll take you to the amusement park to make it up to you."

I swallow down the nausea churning in my stomach. "Okay."

He turns back to Vanessa, the two of them laughing and flirting again, and I walk out of that room, disgusted by the whole scene.