Free Haven

Chapter 1

Ella's POV

The sea breeze carried a salty dampness across the deck. I pulled my cashmere shawl tighter around my shoulders, watching Dawn Harbor gradually disappear into the mist behind us. The Ignis cut steadily through the waves, the rhythmic sound of water against the hull almost hypnotic.

Julian had prepared everything so carefully for this trip. My favorite books were neatly arranged on the cabin shelves, soft blankets folded at the foot of the bed, and even the landscape painting on the wall was identical to the one in my room back in the East Wing. He remembered every detail I'd mentioned in passing—which afternoon I'd casually said I liked a certain color of curtains, which herbal tome I'd been reading.

The weight of his thoughtfulness both moved and unsettled me.

"Luna, would you like me to fetch you a coat?" Brian's voice came from behind me, gentle as always.

I turned to see the former Golden Claw General of the Blood River Pack standing a respectful distance away, genuine concern in his eyes. He, Gregory, and Zachary had sworn complete loyalty to the Silver Moon Pack and become Julian's most trusted personal guards. But to me, they were more than guards—they were like uncles, like family. When my father was alive, they'd been his fiercest warriors.

"No need, Brian," I said softly. "The sea air feels good."

He nodded and stepped back, though his gaze continued to sweep the surrounding waters with vigilance.

I turned back to the ocean, trying to lose myself in this rare moment of peace. Julian said this trip was meant to help me truly relax, to escape the endless administrative duties back at Silver Moon.

Free Haven—the place Ruby and I had once promised to visit together, the dream we'd clung to in our darkest days.

Now I was finally going, but Ruby could only sleep in the garden cemetery at Silver Moon.

Yet my heart wouldn't let go.

Those brutal experiences followed like shadows, leaping out from corners just when I thought I'd escaped them. I'd wake suddenly in the night, dreaming of Blood River's cages, of Victoria's mockery, of Kane—no, I shouldn't think about him anymore. That was all behind me.

So why did I still doubt? Doubt whether I truly deserved these good things?

"Ella."

Julian's voice pulled me from my thoughts. He stepped onto the deck carrying a tray with fine dishes and a perfectly golden-roasted fish. Sunlight caught his blonde hair, making him look almost ethereal.

"I made it myself," he said, a rare uncertainty in his tone. "The fish are fresh from the sea. I thought you'd like it."

I stared at the fish, my throat suddenly tight.

Roasted fish—the most common fare at sea, but it held special meaning for me. In childhood, Kane had once roasted fish for me. During the darkest days at Blood River, he'd secretly hidden away a scrap of food and cooked it over a moonlit fire.

Back then he'd said that when we returned to Silver Moon, he'd cook for me every day.

But those promises had become nightmares that gnawed at me afterward.

"Ella?" Julian's voice drew closer, worried. "Don't you like it?"

I shook my head, stepping back. "I'm... I'm not hungry."

"But you haven't eaten anything today—"

"I said I'm not hungry." My voice came out sharper than I'd intended, startling even myself.

Julian froze, the tray suspended in midair. I saw the hurt flash across his face, and something clenched painfully in my chest.

He'd done nothing wrong. He only wanted to be kind, to make me happy, and I was hurting him.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, turning quickly toward the cabin. "I just... I need to be alone for a bit."

I practically fled into the cabin, shutting the door and sliding down against it to the floor. Tears came unbidden. I hated myself like this—hated that I always remembered the wrong things at the worst times, hated that I couldn't accept kindness like a normal person.

You're torturing yourself, and torturing him too. Ignis's voice echoed in my mind with a hint of helpless amusement.

"I know," I whispered. "But I can't help it."

That fish is just a fish. Julian just wants to take care of you. Why are you connecting it to Kane?

"Because I can't forget!" I nearly shouted. "I can't forget the pain, the betrayal, how naive I was to believe those lies!"

Ignis fell silent for a moment. I understand, she finally said, her voice gentler. But you're not the only one getting hurt by this. Julian isn't Kane. He's never hurt you.

"I know." I buried my face in my knees. "I know he's different, but I'm still afraid. Afraid to believe, afraid to be disappointed again."

So you're just going to keep doing this? Push everyone away and lock yourself in the shadows of the past?

I had no answer. I didn't know.

I'm sorry, Ignis said suddenly. I shouldn't have said that. I just... I just want you to be happy.

"I know," I said softly. "I want that too."

Footsteps sounded outside the cabin, then a knock. "Ella?" Julian's voice came tentatively. "May I come in?"

I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. "Come in."

The door opened and Julian entered, no longer carrying the tray. He sat down across from me, maintaining a careful distance.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have pushed you to eat."

"No, it's my fault," I shook my head. "You did nothing wrong. It's me... I'm too sensitive."

"You don't need to apologize," Julian said gently. "Ella, this journey is meant to help you truly relax, not add to your stress. If something makes you uncomfortable, please tell me."

I looked at him, at those sincere blue eyes, and suddenly felt cruel.

He'd done so much for me, and I was punishing both myself and him with past pain.

"I am happy," I said, though my voice trembled. "Really. This trip, this ship, everything you've prepared... I love it all."

Julian reached out, hesitated, then gently took my hand. "Then why are you shaking?"

I looked down at our joined hands. His was warm and strong, radiating reassuring strength. But mine trembled, like my heart.

"I just..." I struggled for words. "I just need time, for those bad memories to stop creeping into my head."

"I have all the time in the world," Julian said, his thumb brushing softly across my knuckles. "I'll wait as long as it takes."

That night, I lay in Julian's arms, listening to his steady breathing. The cabin was warm, the blankets soft, his embrace safe. But still I couldn't sleep.

Images kept flashing through my mind—cages, mockery, a violent face contorted with cruelty.

I jerked awake suddenly, heart racing, cold sweat soaking my back.

Julian's breathing continued beside me, warm and real. I turned to look at him, at his relaxed features in sleep.

He was real. His kindness was real.

I carefully slipped from his embrace, wrapped myself in a coat, and quietly made my way to the deck.

The night sea was calm, moonlight dancing across the gentle waves in shimmering patterns.

Gregory was on watch. Seeing me emerge, he nodded but said nothing, simply stepping back to give me space.

I walked to the rail and breathed in the cold sea air. The horizon blurred in the distance—impossible to tell where sky ended and ocean began.

Like my life now—I didn't know where I was going, whether light or darkness lay ahead.

You'll be okay, Ignis whispered in my mind. We'll all be okay.

I hoped she was right. I really did.