She'd Never Leave Me Over Some Mistress

I was pretty sure my wife had just found out I was cheating. As in, thirty seconds ago.

Audrey was driving me to guys' night in my car, since I'd be drinking. At a red light her lip balm slipped out of her hand and rolled into the gap between the console and my seat. She reached down to dig for it.

What came up between her fingers was a crumpled tissue. Blotted with red lipstick. Not her shade.

Shit.

I closed my eyes for a second. How could that idiot be so careless? I opened my mouth, already scrambling for something to say.

And Audrey tucked the tissue right back into the gap where she'd found it.

Then the light turned green, and she drove.

The whole night at the bar, I couldn't focus. My buddy Danny shoved my shoulder. "Earth to Grant. I've said your name like three times."

I blinked. "Okay, hypothetical. Say a woman figures out her husband's up to something. But she doesn't call him on it. Why?"

That got the whole table's attention.

"Whoa. Audrey caught you?"

"No," I said, way too fast. "It's a guy from work."

"Ohhh. A guy from work." They traded looks.

Marcus leaned back in his chair. "There's really only two reasons." He held up one finger. "One, he controls all the money. She can't afford to make a scene, so she keeps her mouth shut."

I frowned. That wasn't us. Audrey didn't make what I made, but she made plenty to support herself. Can't afford to was a stretch.

"And two?"

Marcus raised an eyebrow. "Two, she's got somebody on the side too. Nobody gets to throw stones."

My glass slipped out of my hand and shattered on the floor.

"That's bullshit. No way."

The guys looked at each other. "Easy, man. We're talking about your coworker, right?"

I opened my mouth and nothing useful came out. "I just... I've met his wife. She's not like that."

"Come on, Grant. Nobody walks around with cheater stamped on their forehead."

"Anyway, you've got nothing to worry about," Danny said. "Audrey's crazy about you. She'd never pull anything."

I let my shoulders drop. They said it like it was a fact, because everybody knew it. Audrey loved me more than her own life. Her whole world was me and our daughter.

Work was just a paycheck to her. She left at five on the dot and never once went to happy hour. She had pickup, homework, dinner, and then she waited up for me.

I was the first name in her favorites. Text her at any hour and she'd answer in under a minute. Call her drunk at two in the morning and she'd show up in her pajamas to drive me home.

Everyone agreed Audrey was hopelessly in love with me. There was no way she'd ever stray. I agreed too.

So why had Marcus's second theory made me lose it like that?

Because I don't like other people touching what's mine.

While the guys went back to arguing about the game, I texted Kendall, my girl on the side.

You leave a tissue in my car?

It took her a while to answer. Nope. Why?

Nothing.

Then I texted my wife. Poppy asleep?

The reply came in thirty seconds. Out like a light. Have fun, call me when you need a ride.

Seeing that, I finally relaxed.

I'm a careful guy. Every time Kendall got out of my car, I went over it. Seat gaps, under the floor mats, the door pockets, the glovebox. I never gave anyone the chance to leave a trace. So I must have seen it wrong.

Honestly, the guys who get busted because their wife slips an AirTag into the glovebox? They deserve what they get. Ever heard of a tracker detector? I swept my car twice a month.

The whole point of an affair is that nobody knows. The second you get caught, it stops being fun.