Ten Thousand Times Let Down

I waited ten years for Ethan.

He was in London getting his PhD.

I was back in the States, teaching.

I taught alone, moved alone, sat alone in the ER with an IV in my arm.

He said that when he came home, he'd marry me.

But the day he came home, he brought her with him. The woman who'd followed him all the way to London.

——

Chapter 1

The Saturday Ethan decided to end our ten-year long-distance relationship, move home from London, and marry me, I ran into Jess from high school in the pharmacy line at Walgreens.

She recognized me first, and her whole face lit up.

"Hannah? Oh my God, it's been, what, ten years since graduation? You and Ethan Cole must be married by now."

I smiled and told her we were planning the wedding.

She grabbed my arm, practically bouncing.

"I knew it! When Brooke Lawson followed him to London and started posting all those flirty pictures, I was so worried she'd break you two up."

"I'm just glad you guys are okay."

Something in my head went very quiet. Before I could think about it, I asked her for Brooke's account.

Brooke's Instagram had been private for years. Jess thought for a second, then sent me a Reddit link instead. A few years back, she said, Brooke had gotten drunk and bragged in an old class group chat that she'd written it.

The post was titled:

"What do guys really think of a girl who throws herself at them?"

"Ten years ago, the guy I loved went to London for school by himself. His girlfriend stayed in the States. I applied to the same university and followed him. At first he kept me at arm's length. He said he had a girlfriend."

"Then his grandpa died back home, and he couldn't get a flight in time. I found him sitting alone on the stairs of his building, crying. I put my arms around him. He said his girlfriend's name, but he didn't push me away."

"In the ten years since, we've done everything we shouldn't have. Now he's moving back to the States. Do you think he'll finally make it official?"

At the bottom was a photo. A slim wrist resting on a man's bare shoulder, and on that wrist, an old gold watch, the band worn smooth and shiny.

My heart sank, slowly, and I tried to talk myself out of it.

Lots of people own old gold watches. The man in that post didn't have to be Ethan.

That night, Ethan's flight landed and he FaceTimed me.

"I'm just going to crash at the airport hotel tonight and sleep off the jet lag. I don't want to keep you up."

I laughed a little and opened my mouth to answer. Then a woman's hand slid into the edge of the frame and picked up a glass of water from the nightstand.

There was an old gold watch on her wrist.

It was Ethan's grandfather's watch. The day he left for London, he told me he'd never take it off as long as he lived.

I paused. My smile didn't move. "Okay. See you at the party tomorrow."

After we hung up, I sat there holding my phone for a long time.

Then I called someone else.

…

The next night, our friends threw Ethan a welcome-home party at a brewpub on the east side. I opened the door to the back room and saw Brooke Lawson sitting right next to him.

The girl who'd chased him for three straight years in high school.

I didn't say anything. I sat down across from him.

Everyone started in right away. "Ethan, man, ten years long-distance with Hannah. You're finally back. So when's the big day?"

Ethan's eyes rested on my face for less than half a second. Then he looked down, picked up his beer, and said nothing.

Brooke leaned against him like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Ethan's been way too busy in London to think about stuff like that."

Somebody smirked. "Wow, Brooke. You sound like you know a lot about his life over there."

"Of course I do. We went to London together. Same program."

My grip tightened on my water glass.

The teasing got louder.

"Wait, so that's why you two showed up together? Brooke, you followed him all the way to England?"

"Ethan has a girlfriend, you know. Hannah's been waiting for him for ten years."

Brooke blinked and tilted her head toward Ethan.

"So, Ethan. Now that you're back, are you going to marry Hannah?"

The whole table went silent.

I looked up too. I couldn't help it. Some small part of me still hoped.

Ethan's long fingers moved slowly around the rim of his glass. He kept his eyes down.

"We'll see."

Brooke smiled and slid a look at me, pleased with herself.

"I bet Hannah's not in a rush either. I heard you're really close with one of your students. Like, really close."

Ethan's brow creased, just slightly.

"I'm not making it up," Brooke said, eyebrows raised. "Somebody saw you two walking into the Marriott together."

I didn't stop to think. I picked up my glass of ice water and dumped it over her head. "Watch your mouth."

She shrieked and jumped up. A second later, Ethan was on his feet in front of her, looking at me like I was a stranger.

"Are you out of your mind?"

Ten years, and the first thing he said to my face was in defense of another woman.

I took out my phone, pulled up the post, and set it on the table.

"You're the ones who've lost your minds."

"Ethan, you never once told me Brooke went to London with you."

"And you never told me why she kept turning up in your apartment."

Everyone exchanged looks. One by one, they found reasons to step outside.

That left the three of us.

Ethan's face went dark. He pulled a small velvet box out of his jacket pocket and tossed it on the table.

"Hannah, I came back to propose to you. But look at you. Where's the girl I fell in love with?"

I looked at Brooke, clinging to his sleeve, and then at him.

"You came to propose to me, and you brought another woman?"

His jaw was tight. Something tired passed through his dark eyes.

"Hannah, you don't have to be so aggressive."

"Yes. Brooke was there for me in London. All of it."

"We were in the same lab. When we pulled all-nighters on data, she'd crash on my couch. What's wrong with that?"

"You, on the other hand. After all these years, you still don't trust me. Hannah Pierce, you're being ridiculous."

I laughed. It came out flat.

"It won't happen again."

Ethan obviously took that the wrong way.

He thought I'd caved, that I couldn't stand to lose what I'd waited ten years for. His face relaxed a little.

"I'm going to take Brooke to get cleaned up."

He took Brooke's hand and walked her out. As he passed me, he stopped.

"Be good. You don't want ten years to end like this, do you?"

The door closed. I was alone.

I took out my phone and opened my texts with the student Brooke had been so sure I was sleeping with.

Leo, tell your uncle yes. I'll meet him.