Trying For New Beginnings

April

My taxi draws up outside my apartment. The place I will be calling home for the foreseeable future. My new home, thousands of miles away from the one I lived in for a long time. It was time. I needed a fresh start. I am exhausted after my fourteen-hour flight from the US to Edinburgh, Scotland. I picked Scotland because it is one place my husband and I said we always wanted to visit, sadly, we never did. I lost him before we could. It is my first time seeing it. I handled everything over the phone and email.

Thanking the driver, I pay. He offers to help, but I tell him it’s okay. It is cold and dark. The two of us don’t need to be cold. That is what happens when you move to Scotland in the middle of winter. I should have been here a few hours ago, but my flight got delayed. I am exhausted and ready for bed. A bed is the only thing I have in the apartment. I arranged with my landlord for it to be delivered before I arrived. Everything else will be arriving within the next few days. I didn’t bring much from America, just a few important things. I ordered everything else online that I needed for the place. It is going to be hard, but over the last few years, I have learned to deal with things on my own.

I take my luggage from the boot, one big, one small, and the taxi drives off. I carefully make my way to the entrance of my building, not wanting to slide because it is icy. I set them down and tapped in the code to enter the building. I struggle to keep it open as I grab my luggage, and then, to make things worse, some guy barges by me.

“Watch where you are going.” I snap, not in the mood for rude behaviour.

He stops, staring at me. “Maybe you should watch where you are going. Who even are you? You don’t stay in this building.” He snaps back with a thick Scottish accent.

Aren’t the Scots supposed to be friendly? He sure isn’t.

“You were the one who barged by me, jackass. I do. I am moving in today, not like it is any of your business. Are you always so rude?”

“Great, someone new to get used to. Don’t cause any trouble or make too much noise.” He warns.

“Don’t talk to me like that. What I do has nothing to do with you. For your information, I am a good neighbour. I respect the people around me, unlike you.”

He scoffs and walks away. God, he better not stay on the same floor as me. I am here for a fresh start, not to get a new enemy for doing nothing wrong. Sighing, I finally get into the building and take the elevator up to the third floor, or should I say lift, since I am in Scotland and not America anymore. My landlord left the key in a key safe outside the apartment for me to access.

Letting myself in, I take my luggage to my bedroom. Switching the light on, I sigh as I glance around. It looks empty, lonely. I am sure once I put the work into it, it will look better. I drop my luggage on the floor and sit on the unmade bed. I have bedding in my case. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths. I hate change, but it needed to be done. And running into my rude neighbour didn’t help matters. Hopefully, the rest of my neighbours aren’t the same, or I will find somewhere to stay. I am here alone, and I would like to try to make some friends, not enemies. Well, I am not entirely alone, I hope.

“Are you still here?” I whisper, my words shaky in case he is gone.

“Of course, I am still here. I will be here for as long as you need me to be, my angel.” The sound of his voice relaxes me.

“I wasn’t sure since I left our home, if you would stay behind or not. I will always need you, my love.”

“No, you won’t. One day will come when you are okay without me.” His finger brushes my face, but I wish so much I could feel it more powerful. I hate that I can’t feel his touch as strongly as when he was still alive.

“No, that won’t happen. You promised you wouldn’t leave.” I whimper. Losing him a second time would kill me.

I open my eyes to see Corbin next to me, smiling. “I will be here for as long as you need me, but the day will come when you need to move on, and I will too, no matter how much I would like to stay forever here with you.”

“Corbin, did I make the right choice coming here?” I whimper.

He places his hand over mine, and in that moment, it feels like everything will be okay.

“You did. You needed somewhere new. We always talked about Scotland.”

“We did. I wish you were here too.”

“I am here, am I not?” he laughs.

I giggle, shaking my head. “You know what I mean. I wish you were here to share all the experiences with me. I wish you were here in human form, so I wouldn’t only need to talk to you when we are alone.”

“You could talk to me anywhere, but people may start wondering who you are talking.”

“They will think I am crazy, talking to myself. Could you imagine me telling them, I am talking to my dead husband, who only I can see. I promise I am not crazy. I am the only one who can see him.”

“No, let’s not do that. You are not crazy. I like it, it’s only our secret.”

People would lock me up if I told them my dead husband came to me as a ghost two months after his death. I can still see him, talk to him, and feel him. No one will understand it, even if it is real. When he first showed up, I thought I was losing my mind due to grieving for him. It scared the hell out of me and took weeks for me to adjust and realise it was real. He hasn’t left me, not wholly.

“I like it is our secret too. Were you there when I met my rude neighbour?”

“I was, don’t let him get to you. Maybe he is fighting his own demons.” He reassures.

Corbin, in life and death, has always been one to give people the benefit of the doubt because he believes that every single person has reasons for being the way they are, good or bad. He has such a kind heart.

“Maybe…”

“You should get some rest, my angel. You have had a long day. Tomorrow is a new day.”

“Will you stay?”

“Of course. Where else am I going to go?” he smiles, kissing my cheek.

I am not so worried now because Corbin being here is going to make everything a little easier. A part of me was scared he would disappear when I moved.