From deep down to high up

I sat in the corner booth of the diner, staring at my phone. The screen glared back at me, and my stomach twisted as I read over the words I’d just sent to Josh. My chest felt heavy, but my fingers refused to hesitate. I’d rehearsed this moment a hundred times, and now it was happening.

Me: I know, Josh. I know about the other girls.

The dots appeared, signaling his reply. My heart pounded so loudly I could barely hear the diner’s chatter around me.

Josh: What are you talking about?

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. This was so typical of Josh—always deflecting, always acting innocent. For months, I’d tried to ignore the little signs. The constant texting late at night, the way he’d disappear at parties, the whispers I’d hear in the hallways. He was never transparent about where he was or who he was with, but he had no problem demanding I tell him everything. Every time I missed one of his messages, he’d throw a tantrum, questioning who I was with and accusing me of flirting with guys when I clearly wasn’t. He’d insist on coming with me everywhere, even to the library, as if he didn’t trust me to breathe without his supervision.

But the final straw had been our anniversary dinner. While I’d sat across from him, trying to talk about our future, he’d been sneaking off to the bathroom to text someone else. I’d seen the messages pop up on his screen when he’d left his phone on the table, and that’s when it all clicked.

Me: Don’t play dumb. I know you’ve been sleeping with every girl at school. Even during our anniversary dinner. I’m done.

There was a long pause. Then, finally:

Josh: You’re overreacting. It didn’t mean anything.

That was so like him. He’d always had a way of making me feel like I was the crazy one, like my feelings didn’t matter. But not this time. This time, I wasn’t going to let him manipulate me.

Anger surged through me as I clenched my phone tighter. My thumbs flew across the keyboard.

Me: It doesn’t matter what it meant to you. This is about me, and I deserve better. We’re done, Josh. Don’t text me again.

Before I could second-guess myself, I hit send, grabbed my bag, and walked out of the diner. The evening sun was low on the horizon, bathing the streets in a warm, golden glow. For the first time in what felt like forever, I took a deep breath and felt free.

The first thing I did was text Alice.

Me: It’s done. I told him everything. Officially single and officially free.

Her reply came almost instantly.

Alice: OMG FINALLY. Get your butt over here. We’re celebrating.

Alice’s house was the same comforting chaos it always was: mismatched furniture, posters of bands I didn’t recognize, and the faint smell of incense. I barely had time to drop my bag before she shoved a wine glass can into my hand.

"My parents are off on another business trip—something about researching wildlife at the zoology base in the mountains," she said with a grin. "So it’s just us. And wine. And we’re celebrating."

"To freedom!" she declared, clinking her beer can against my glass.

"To freedom," I echoed, taking a long sip. The wine  tasted sour, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

We sprawled out on the floor of her room, surrounded by snacks, music, and Alice’s tarot deck. The conversation flowed easily, from how terrible Josh was to my tentative plans for the future.

"So, what now?" Alice asked, shuffling the cards. "New hairstyle? New hobby? Crush the patriarchy?"

I laughed. "Maybe. I was thinking of doing something drastic. Like cutting my hair or dying it."

Her eyes lit up. "Pink. You’d look amazing with bright pink hair."

I hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. "Why not? Let’s do it."

Half an hour later, her bathroom looked like a war zone, and my hair was a vibrant neon pink. We stood in front of the mirror, giggling uncontrollably.

"You look so badass," Alice said, grinning. "Total main character energy."

I couldn’t stop smiling. The new hair felt like a declaration—a visible sign of the change I was determined to make.

After the makeover, Alice shuffled her tarot cards and laid out a spread on the floor.

"Let’s see what the universe has to say about your new life," she said dramatically.

I leaned in as she flipped the cards. The spread was chaotic but hopeful: The Tower, The Fool, and The Star.

"Big changes," Alice said, pointing to The Tower. "You’re breaking everything down to rebuild it better."

I nodded, sipping my soda. "Sounds about right."

She flipped The Fool. "New beginnings. Taking risks."

"Terrifying," I said with a laugh.

Her expression softened as she revealed The Star. "Hope. Renewal. Finding your place."

My throat tightened unexpectedly, and I took a deep breath. "I’ll drink to that."

Alice leaned forward, her grin widening. "Oh, by the way, did I tell you? Our school is merging with another one next semester."

I blinked. "What? Why?"

"Apparently, their campus burned down or something," Alice said, waving a hand as if it was no big deal. "The whole building’s unusable, so they’re moving over to ours."

My curiosity piqued. "New students, huh? Wonder what they’ll be like."

Alice shrugged. "Hopefully not total jerks. But who knows? Maybe it’s going to be full of cuties. I heard they have a very impressive sport’s team."

I rolled my eyes. "Please. No more love stories for me, remember? I’m focusing on me this time."

She smirked, clinking her beer can against my glass. "You say that now, but fate has a funny way of shaking things up. And maybe even I will have some luck with the sportsmen, if you know what I mean.” With these words she meaningfully played with her eyebrows, which made me burst out laughing.

As the night went on, Alice’s cheeks turned pink from a bunch of beer cans, that now surrounded us. She leaned back against the bed, laughing more easily. "Okay, one more spread. This one’s about your love life."

I groaned. "No way. No more love for me. I’m done."

"Shush," she said, shuffling the cards with an exaggerated flourish. "The cards will decide."

She flipped them one by one. The Lovers. The Knight of Wands. The Moon.

Her eyes widened. "Passion. Strong feelings. Definitely a soulmate. But," she said, tapping The Moon, "there’s something clouded here. Trouble, maybe. Secrets."

I snorted. "Nope. Hard pass. No more love, passion, or soulmates for me. I’m focusing on my studies and finding a new hobby. Maybe I’ll take up knitting."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Knitting? Please. Maybe this is what fate has for you. Something totally new. Something that helps you rebirth yourself."

I shook my head but couldn’t stop the small smile forming. "Sure, Alice. Whatever you say."

We both burst into laughter, the tension of the day melting away. And as the candles burned low and the cards lay scattered on the floor, I allowed myself a tiny spark of hope—just enough to keep me moving forward.