I HATE HIM MORE THAN I IMAGINED (MxM)
IamurLight · Ongoing · 234.5k Words
)
Introduction
I gave Felix Sawyer my firsts, my heart, and my absolute devotion, only to stand frozen in a parking lot listening to him and his friends laugh at my pathetic existence. "The whole thing with Bethel was just a bet," he had smiled, shattering my world.
Years later, I’m no longer that naive college nerd. I’m playing in the championship finals, and the only thing standing between me and the trophy is the demon who ruined my life.
"Let's make a bet," Felix whispered, cornering me in the locker room before the game, his smug face inches from mine. "If you win, I'll crawl in the snow. But if I win... you belong to me."
I accepted, fueled by pure, unadulterated hate. I was going to crush him on the ice. I was going to make him bleed tears.
But I didn't.
I watched in absolute horror as the final buzzer blew, and the scoreboard mocked my failure. Felix skated toward me, the crowd chanting his name, a dangerous, predatory smirk on his face.
"A bet is still a bet, darling," he mouthed. And tonight, he was coming to collect his prize.
Chapter 1
I hate Felix Sawyer.
I hate his existence, I hate everything about him, I hate how he made me feel like I'm not good enough on the ice, I hate how he easily won the championship, I hate how my team will be up against him and I would have to see his smug face on the ice.
“Chill out, or you'll pass out.” Julian said as he tried to take the bottle of beer from my hand, but I was quick to react. Turning the bottle slightly out of reach from his hand, and glared at him.
“That's the whole purpose of me drinking.” I struggled to form my sentences but still managed to say something that wasn't rubbish, at least not totally.
“Tomorrow is the game.” Julian shook his head. “You need to be at your best.”
I shouldn't be drinking when I have a game against Felix Sawyer tomorrow and I know that but I can't help it. I don't want to think about anything, especially seeing Felix's face tomorrow after all that went down between us.
“I fucking know that.” I rolled my eyes at Julian, then stood up from my seat.
“Where are you going?” I can tell he was worried but I wasn't the only one drinking, other of our teammates were too, he should take care of them and leave me alone.
“Restroom.” I had no choice but to reply since he was the captain of the team.
I made my way towards the restroom, finding an empty stall and settling there to finish my business. When I was done I headed to the sink to wash my hands, then stared at my reflection on the mirror on the wall there.
‘Well, don't you look pathetic?’ I muttered to myself, taking in my drunk appearance and sighed deeply. This wasn't me…being drunk on a random Thursday night because the hockey officials decided to play god and put my team against the Ravenberg which Felix played for.
As long as I can remember, I've been trying so hard to beat Felix on the ice and somehow that demon managed to crush me like he did to my fucking heart.
It's quite stupid to hate someone because they broke your heart but I couldn't help it.
I had a massive crush on Felix during my first year at college, and it was because of him I had gone to New Jersey for college. I always idolized him, his posters on my walls, magazines that featured him, even his stickers on my notebook.
But like they say, don't meet your idols in real life because you'll get disappointed.
During freshman orientation night I met Felix for the first time, he was looking perfect with his flannel top and jeans. His hair was messy but somehow managed to look perfect, his sculpted face and chiseled chin were highlighted under the light.
He was perfect.
I've never approached anyone before, not girls or guys which was the reason I never dated or have any friends. But I decided to approach Felix. I tried to control my steps so I don't run to him like those fan girls who always wait for him at the airport.
Yes, Felix was really famous.
He was a good player and that earned him reputation, aside from that his mother was a famous actress and his father was a famous business mogul and that also earned him the fame to skyrocket his career to the peak.
“Hi..” My voice came out smaller than I had intended. The moment his face turned to my direction, my heart skipped a beat. He looked at me from head to toe like he was trying to analyze what I was wearing.
I wasn't looking good. My prescribed glasses were on, my faded black polo and shorts that my mom had gotten on a discount sale. Safe to say I was looking like your average nerd who tried to escape that aesthetic but failed woofully at that.
“Hey.” He smiled at me, showing his perfect set of dentitures. We engaged in a series of conversations and when his friends came over, he introduced me to them and we all clicked, for a moment everything was perfect. A small town nerd with the golden boy of hockey and his friends.
It was during fall I think, I decided to confess to Felix how I felt about him. We've been hanging out constantly, he would invite me to his games and I would go watch him play. He even suggested that he trained me in hockey, and stupid me accepted. I trained with him every Tuesdays and Thursdays after my classes, always rushing to get to the rink because my heart won't stop beating with excitement at the sight of seeing him.
“You're getting good.” He would say as he ruffled my hair. “Someday you will be better than I am.”
After practice he would take me to a cafe to get coffee, before driving me home while blasting songs on his stereo. On weekends he would pick me up and we'll go on drive with no destination in mind then we fall back to our usual routine during the new week.
“I have something to tell you.” I had said during one of our practice sessions, he skated to where I laid down on the ice and did the same.
“What’s that?” I looked at him, taking in his practice appearance, sweat glistened on his face, and dripped from his hair.
“I think I'm in love with you.” I forced myself to say it because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to. “I know it's stupid, we're friends and we're boys..’
I trailed off, trying to avoid my eyes from going to him.
“But, I can't help the fact I feel like this and if I don't say anything now, it would probably sit at the top of things I regret doing.” I thought about what else to say to back up my confession but nothing came.
At one point, I felt a sting of tears in my eyes when the thought of him avoiding me came. I didn't know how I was going to live with it, the fact that I had let some feelings come between the friendship we've built.
“Heyyy” His voice broke through the thoughts I had. “Look at me..”
I did.
“I feel the same way.” He said as he touched my cheeks as tears slowly slipped out without me knowing, a small smile tugged at my lips as I watched his eyes looking at mine with tenderness in them.
I feel the same way, not I love you too.
How dumb was I to fall for that, to look past the meaning of those words and give myself to him completely, my firsts and everything, completely till he damaged me. Now staring at my reflection, I was truly pathetic but not that pathetic that I would throw away tomorrow's game because of some dumb feelings.
I will make sure Felix gets a taste of defeat and he'll beg with tears in his eyes, I wouldn't budge when he d
oes because all have left for him is nothing but hate.
I hate Felix Sawyer.
Last Chapters
#176 Chapter 176 Recovery.
Last Updated: 10/29/2026#175 Chapter 175 The injury.
Last Updated: 10/29/2026#174 Chapter 174 Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Last Updated: 10/28/2026#173 Chapter 173 Your history with him is dead.
Last Updated: 10/28/2026#172 Chapter 172 All at ease.
Last Updated: 10/27/2026#171 Chapter 171 Half-Brothers.
Last Updated: 10/27/2026#170 Chapter 170 Familiar Echoes.
Last Updated: 10/22/2026#169 Chapter 169 Building toward something real.
Last Updated: 10/20/2026#168 Chapter 168 Genuine interactions.
Last Updated: 10/19/2026#167 Chapter 167 Voluntary coffee grabbing.
Last Updated: 10/19/2026
You Might Like 😍
The Legacy Game
When scholarship student Chris Linds stumbles onto a mystery someone has killed to protect, she becomes the next target. The only person standing between her and death is Ashen Ford, the academy's cold, untouchable Student Council President—and heir to one of Corvain's founding families.
As anonymous invitations summon twelve students into the legendary Legacy Game, alliances fracture, secrets surface, and every challenge brings another deadly truth to light. But the greatest secret isn't who will win.
It's why one winner vanished without a trace... and why someone will do anything to make sure history repeats itself.
The Lycan Kings and the White Wolf.
Ex-Wife, Current Wife
For three years, she lived in the shadow of a loveless marriage. She was the woman everyone loved to hate, the one who supposedly "stole" him from his first love. She endured his cold indifference, raised their son—who struggles with a speech impediment—in silence, and traded her own brilliant career for the thankless role of a trophy wife.
But when his long-lost love returns, she is unceremoniously pushed aside to make room for the "real" family.
Enough was enough.
After he publicly humiliates her and chooses the mistress’s daughter over his own son during a birthday party, something inside her finally snaps. She doesn't just want out of the marriage; she wants her life back. With a secret talent for design and a newfound resolve, she walks away from the gilded cage of his estate.
But as she rises from the ashes of her failed marriage to reclaim her status as a top-tier designer, he realizes the woman he treated as a disposable pawn was the only one who truly held his world together.
Now, the woman who once begged for his attention is no longer looking back. Will he be able to earn her forgiveness, or is he finally too late?
Luna On The Run- I stole The Alpha's Sons
But Axton is more than just a rival, he's her fated mate. And he's been searching for her not for love, but for revenge and a chance to destroy her father's pack. The next morning, Elena rejects him, walking away before he can trap her in his ruthless schemes.
But Axton does not take rejection lightly, and his retaliation is brutal: a leaked video, a ruined reputation, and a family that turns their backs on her drive her to flee the city in disgrace.
But when Elena disappears, she takes something Alpha Axton never planned to lose - his sons. Now, he'll stop at nothing to get them back. He wants his heirs, he wants his mate, and Elena will learn that no one runs from the Alpha.
My Alpha's Fake Luna
Those were the last words my Alpha whispered before he severed our bond.
I believed our marriage was over.
I was wrong.
For two years, I thought Alpha Michael never loved me.
Every misunderstanding pushed us farther apart.
Every silence broke another piece of my heart.
While another woman slowly took my place.
But everything changed after the death of the Grand Alpha.
My mate began watching me.
Protecting me.
Holding me whenever I fell.
Looking at me like he was terrified of losing me.
If he hated me...
Why did he keep risking everything for me?
And why did everyone panic the moment I finally chose another future?
My Husband's Secretary Wore My Dress
Those words shattered Vivian's heart.
For three years, she endured her husband's coldness and his secretary's endless provocations.
She never knew that the woman he trusted most had stolen her identity.
Or that the man she loved had secretly loved her all along.
When the truth finally came out, it was already too late.
Vivian had divorced him.
She had disappeared with his unborn child.
And she had no intention of coming back.
Five years later, the former ballerina returned as the sole heiress of a powerful family.
Standing beside her was a little girl with eyes identical to Caden Lux's.
The billionaire who once ignored her had gone mad.
He blocked her in the dressing room, knelt before her, and even accepted the possibility that another man had taken his place.
Because losing his pride was nothing.
Losing Vivian had nearly killed him.
But after everything he had done…
Could she ever forgive the man who chose another woman over his own wife?
Tango 2 the Alpha's Heart
My gaze snapped to his. He was smiling, causing my heart to skip a painful beat. Before I could respond, the music began, and my body instinctively reacted to the sweet melody.
I found myself molded to Lex's will, my feet irresistibly following the dance steps.
The crowd gasped as Lex pulled me into a more intimate position, his hands roaming over my body in a seductive manner.
The experience was both terrifying and magical, allowing me to feel every longing emotion through the dance.
I soon found myself lost in his arms.
When the music finally stopped, my arms were wrapped around his neck, his hands resting on my back, our noses almost touching. He gazed deeply into my eyes.
The ballroom fell silent.
Was he about to kiss me?
Lilly’s life was never easy; she lost her memory and family in a blazing fire. Angelica found and took her in—only to make her a slave to the household.
Years of torment and abuse left Lilly weak, vulnerable, and believing she was without a wolf, but that didn't mean that all hope was lost.
At night, in her dreams, he would patiently wait for her—the man who brought sunshine into her darkest moments.
They would dance the night away, but as dawn approached, he would vanish into the morning sun.
Lilly had given up hope of finding a mate, having a family, and leading a normal life.
But things are about to drastically change for her...
Secrets, lies, betrayal... and a baby on the way.
What if Lilly wasn't wolf-less? What if it was all a lie?
What if she had a living family? Would she stay and bond with them or make a run for freedom?
The Family Books 1-3 (A Mafia romance)
The saint to my sinner. with her innocent eyes and devilish curves.
A Madonna that was meant to be admired but never touched.
Until someone took that innocence from her.
She left.
The darkness in my heart was finally complete.
I avenged her, I killed for her, but she never came back.
Until I saw her again. An angel dancing around a pole for money.
She didn’t know I owned that club. She didn’t know I was watching.
This time I won’t let her escape.
I will make her back into the girl I knew.
Whether she likes it or not.
2/ Judge and Jury- I can’t stop watching her.
I’m not even sure I want to.
Taylor Lawson, blonde, beautiful, and totally oblivious to how much dangers she’s in.
She’s also the one juror in my upcoming murder trial that hasn’t been bought.
The one who can put me behind bars for a very long time.
I know I should execute her.
After all that’s what I do.
I am the Judge.
I eliminate threats to The Family.
And Taylor is a threat.
But I don’t want to kill her.
Possessing her, making her love me seems like a much better plan for this particular Juror.
3/ Rags and Ritches-
The Spy Who Left
"I still can't believe she actually did it. Aria Hart, filing for divorce. Who saw that coming?"
"How long do we think it'll take before she comes crawling back?" Another voice joins the conversation.
"Three days," Victoria declares. "Five at most. She has no money, no skills, no family. Where's she going to go?"
When Aria Chen divorced billionaire Leon Hart, New York's elite sneered, betting she'd crawl back within days. She never did.
Three years later, the world is rocked when Dr. Aria Vale, CEO of a revolutionary cybersecurity empire, steps into the spotlight. The mysterious genius who built a billion-dollar company from nothing is none other than Leon's discarded wife, the woman everyone thought was just a pretty ornament.
Now, every powerful man wants the queen Leon threw away a renowned scientist seeking partnership, a financial titan proposing an empire, and an actor offering devotion. Each sees the brilliance Leon ignored.
Then Leon discovers the truth: Aria's sacrifices, her secret double life, and the daughter she's been raising without him. For the first time, the man who once took her for granted must fight for her love. But can he compete with men who valued her from the beginning?
A story of love, betrayal, and power where the king must kneel before the queen who never needed saving.
CHASING GHOSTS
The Billionaire's Surrogate's Secret
“Who said that’s still fucking true? We stopped being just man and surrogate the first time our eyes met.” He walked towards me, boring into my eyes with those eyes of his. “I fucking want you, Vanessa.”
My heart stuttered.
This could not be real.
“But the rules—“
“I made them. I can destroy them. I already destroyed them when I kissed you.” He was dangerously close now, but all I kept getting was danger signals combined with the panic, alarm, lust and above all, the guilt.
It was killing me.
Vanessa Sterling who never liked men because of what her father did to her mother ended up having a drunken one night stand with a stranger and that might end up changing her life forever.
Rodri Darnell who doesn’t want to get married or have kids but is forced to give his father a grand child, decided to use a surrogate.
Vanessa Sterling was supposed to be an ordinary surrogate to Rodri Darnell of the Dolphin Emirates, but he fell in love with her.
Their only problem will be Vanessa's secret.
Everybody is Guilty Here
Middlesbrough's underworld is a dangerous game, and Matthew Smith finds himself right in the middle of it. A once-feared gang leader, he is now forced to be a pawn in a deadly cat-and-mouse game. Matthew's only shot at freedom is helping the police bring down Mr. K, the elusive mafia boss of the city. The only problem is that the detective he is forced to work with is the same man who arrested him years ago.
Masahiro Payne is everything Matthew hates: cold, calculating, and relentless. But their only hope for survival is by pretending to be a happy couple, blending in amidst dangerous crime, deceit, and power struggles. The closer they find themselves to taking down Mr. K's empire, the more they are attracted to one another, an affair too potent to turn from.
As their undercover mission spirals into a web of lies and hidden desires, they face a growing threat from all sides. But the greatest risk is the one they can't control-their own feelings. With every touch, every stolen kiss, the line between their fake relationship and real emotions blurs.
In a world of betrayal, trust is a luxury, and falling for each other may be the deadliest mistake of all. Can they survive the deadly mafia games or will their passion be their demise?
