Survival Journey

Her Vow

Aiyla PoV

I cried and cried all my life for my broken heart and shattered life; for my pain and sufferings; for the loved one whom i lost; for the loved ones who turned their back on me; for every one making me think I'm worthless; for every abuse I went through; I deserved to be loved but I never got that love.

My family was the one who broke my trust; my family was the one who kept on breaking me until I turned into a shell, a stone hearted girl.

I vowed to never be hurt because of my family again. I vowed I would stand for myself.

I vowed to become someone that people who thought I was worthless would fall on my feet.

I vowed to survive and make the best of myself.

I vowed to never cry for the one who never loved me and so I upsurge and become the alpha female that I'm today.

But did I ever find love and happiness in my life after getting betrayed and hurt by my family?

Let's find out shall we?

Family

"Family is supposed to Be our haven

Very often, it's the Place where we find The deepest heartache"

Iyanle Vanzant

Sighing, I thought back to the life I had and all the things I went through throughout my life. The memory still haunts me, sometimes all the pain I went through because of my family's cruelty was enough for me to be strong and stand up for myself and fight for the life I deserved.

So many things have happened in my life with lots of ups and downs and coming across those hard times was brutal for me.

Looking back at old times and memories now I feel so proud of myself and of what I have become today. It is that of my dark past that I have become so successful and achieved so much in my life.

It is said that life teaches you your greatest lesson and the same thing happened to me; life taught me my greatest lesson and showed me the cruel reality of so-called "Life".

Real life is not like a fairytale story; real life is filled full of thorns, pain's, suffering and struggle and my life was also not a fairytale but a cruel and bitter reality that made me crushed by the heavy burden of mistakes made by none other than my so-called family.

It is said that you are the reflection of your family. Whatever good and bad action you take and act, reflects on the values and culture of your family...

It directly or indirectly shows your upbringing, behaviour, culture, values and norms of your family.

Having a family for children is a blessing and not everyone is fortunate to have a family. So, it's good to value what you have.

Every child is entitled to grow up with a happy and loving family. Children need to live and spend time in a loving, secure and stable environment.

Once a child is born, it's their right to have a good, healthy and stable family but there is also a harsh truth, not every child or person is lucky to have a stable family.

Family means a world and universe to everyone...

The family also means love, support, trust, sacrifice, honesty, protection, security, acceptance, respect and loyalty. Without these, no family can be complete.

Family is the main pillar for a person and also for a child while growing up. It also influences the upbringing, social character and personality of the child...

Family is the place where a child learns to be ethical, compassionate, fair, honest and to love and care. It also teaches the values of life for living a good and healthy life.

The family also acts as a catalyst for children where they first learn the basic values, norms of society and culture.

A child also needs to be carefully nurtured, cherished and moulded into being responsible people.

It is the family's responsibility and job to provide a child with the best child care. So, they can grow up into being physically, mentally and emotionally strong individuals.

The family also teaches you how to be a better person. They are the ones who believe in you, have faith in you and stand with you when the whole world is doubting you and they are the ones who will cheer you up when you are down.

Family helps to mold you, contributes to your growth and development, supports you and is there in highs and lows.

My family and life were like a dream to me... a beautiful dream from which I never wanted to wake up from.

I had hope and aim to fly high with their love and support.

But dreams are dreams right! It could break anytime without you being aware of what's happening around you.

Life can be funny and unfair sometimes nobody knows what happens in a moment or seconds...

Just like the phrase "what you have today maybe go tomorrow".

Life sure is full of surprises and uncertainties.

In other words, you could say life is like a roller coaster ride with lots of ups and downs.

What does it mean for a child to have a stable family and how does it reflect in a child's life?

What if that family is the reason for a child's sorrow, pain and abuse!

So, how is that child going to cope and survive her agonizing life which is the cause of her tears...

How is that child going to shape her life and future... A family which is also the key to her life is the one breaking her apart; how can she trust people and feel secure if she cannot trust her only family and feel safe within.

As the above phrase describes "Family was supposed to be my haven but it's also the place where I got my deepest heartache from" This is my story, my "Survival Journey"!

My name is Aiyla Sequeira, born in a rich and big joint family including mom, dad, elder brother, uncle, aunts, grandpa and 3 cousins. Being the youngest child of the family sure came with advantages.

I was loved, cared for, adored, spoiled, and welwell-prprotectedould say I was like a doll to everyone and I was a happy child as far as I know and remember.

My parents loved me a lot and my brother was very protective of me, I had a happy family. Both I and my brother were lucky to have such a family or that's what we were made to perceive.

People used to say I was born with a silver spoon, they used to call me a millionaire's granddaughter. When I think of it it's like a joke to me now.

Sure I was born in a rich and well-known family; sure I did spend my half childhood in luxury, love, care and protection but it was just an illusion, a short-lived fantasy.

Therefore, I would not call myself born with a silver spoon child as it was only temporary. Sure some children are born with good fates, stable families and who do not even know what suffering and pain are; hell! I did not know about sorrow, suffering and pain until I experienced it but before that, I had a perfect and stable childhood.

When I think of people who used to say I had a good fate I laugh at it, it's like a joke to me now; a brutal joke!

I had a twisted fate, who knew life can be so unpredictable and cruel. Earlier I said life is uncertain. Well, it was the same for me. My happy days were gone in a flash.

In a warped way, life played a notorious game with me and my life changed dramatically. All my hopes, and dreams got crushed; it left me broken and mashed.

My family and my life were just delusional for me. Everything I believed and trusted was all a big lie and fake. The love, faith, and trust I had in myself and for my family all got destroyed and I was left smashed, broken and beyond repair.

And once a happy family was fucked up and gutted. Now a litre is left as a memory, fragments "good and bad" which I cherish and which also haunt me and bring tears to my eyes; leaving my heart in pain.