Being Megan

Chapter 1

Megan

It’s been nearly five years since the man I loved walked out on me. The pain that came with that was unbearable. 18, pregnant and heartbroken. I’d never felt so crushed. The thought of living on seemed impossible. It felt like he’d ripped my heart out in front of me and took it with him. He locked it away somewhere where I’ll never find it. It seemed like I’d never be complete again. I lost everything that day.

Two people got me through that darkest time of my life. Courtney and Carl. If it weren’t for them, I’d be lost. Courtney got me back on my feet, she made me get out of the house, made me get up in the morning and forced me to eat. Carl had done nothing but make me laugh and smile, even when I was nothing but a zombie. When I cried, they both sat and held me. They told me it was ok to cry. That everything will get better. For a long time, I didn’t believe them.

I never believed I’d love again. He stole my heart and disposed of it when he met someone new. It only took him two years to get engaged to someone else. He gave her the same ring he gave me. He’s never coming back, and the day I found that out was the day I decided to stop waiting for him.

The good things that came out of all of my pain were that he’s happy. He’s healthy, sober and with someone he loves. What this has helped me do is become an independent and strong woman. I did not realise at the time, but Logan leaving helped me become who I am today. Like Sara says he helps me without even trying. Him leaving helped me grow as a person.

Over the past five years, Courtney has become my best friend. We are like sisters. She has been with me through every high and every low, and she’s supported my decisions good or bad.

Carl left after a year. I wasn’t annoyed or upset by his departure; I understood it. After he told me about his feelings towards Yasmin, I knew he needed to. He wanted to be able to get her out of the life her parents had planned for her. Little did he know she already had plans of her own.

Yasmin lives with Courtney and me. One day two years ago, she turned up on our doorstep with her bags and tears in her eyes. It took me a week to find out what had happened for her to be so upset. Since then she’s changed too, she’s closed herself off more, not to Courtney or me but to other people. I watch as men try it on with her and she shoots them down so coldly. If she’s not shooting them down she’s telling them it’s a one and done thing with her and that is it. It’s worrying, but I can’t force her to open her heart. Courtney is convinced Carl leaving has something to do with it, but I’m not so sure. From what Carl told me there are more significant problems in her life.

Life has been good to me in the past three years. I’m studying, I own a place with Courtney and Yasmin, but I also have a job I never thought I would have in a million years. I never thought I’d do this as a job, especially given my circumstances. Courtney was the one that persuaded me to do it, and I’ve not looked back since. I still have Max, and I got a kitten last year. I thought it would be challenging to get Max on board, but I think he’s too old to care about the kitten.

I work at a Gentlemen's Club called Masked Goddess.

Moving to New York helped me a lot, Courtney’s sister; Chloe got us the job waitressing in LA first. Courtney was the first of us to graduate to becoming a dancer. I was a bit sceptical. The thought of pervy old men leering at me made my skin crawl. Not that it didn’t happen while waitressing.

Masked Goddess is set over five floors, the higher you go, the more elite of a customer you are. I started off waitressing on the ground floor, which is open to the public as a high-end nightclub that spans over two floors, the second floor is the club’s VIP bar area.

The third floor is a lounge bar that is open to members and their inner circle. Usually, the members bring their wives, girlfriends or mistresses. It’s a good place for a date to be honest. There are bars and food is served throughout the night. Often people can get into the lounge if they’re willing to pay the price at the door on the night. During the week it’s usually a little cheaper. There's always a live band or singer there. I often perform there as I enjoy it. I don’t make as much money, but it’s fun. It’s a calmer atmosphere, and we tend to get a classier crowd in there.

The fourth floor houses a gym, sauna, pool and a games room. That is just for elite members, we as staff use the facilities. The members use the games room, sometimes poker tournaments are held there.

The fifth floor is what most would call the strip club; it’s called Olympia. I only started performing there two months into being in New York after I stepped in for one of the girls that had got food poisoning pretty severely and couldn’t go on. All I can say is that it was the most powerful feeling I’ve ever had. Men were just throwing money at me, and I wasn’t even doing anything, I literally danced around a pole for ten minutes, and that was it. I made more in that ten minutes than what I made a night in waitressing, and I realised then, and there I could pay my debts off in a couple of years rather than several.

Madam Hera, she owns the club, and she’s honestly the strongest, fiercest and kindest person I’ve ever met. She holds all the power, none of the members wants to piss her off, they do anything out of line, and they will be banned from the premises immediately. Madam Hera has done everything in her power to make sure that all of her girls feel safe. We each have our own security guard who works the same shifts as us. I wondered how she could afford it, but after seeing the clientele, I know why.

Every single employee at Masked Goddess wears a mask. Madam Hera says it’s to protect our personal lives. She knows not all of us will stay here forever, that some of us are here to pay bills, to pay for college and to carve out a better life for ourselves. If an employee unmasks themselves to a crowd, they are fired. Having a mask adds to the illusion. If a member tries to take our masks off, they are escorted off the premises, and their membership is revoked. I think this is the reason I am comfortable working here.

Yasmin and Courtney love it. I think they like it for the same reasons I do.

There are basic rules within the whole building, some obvious ones, like no fighting or attacking the staff. There’s a few extra in Olympia. One of being no touching unless the dancer allows it. Courtney doesn’t mind them touching her as long as they keep away from her intimate area. I have a no-touching rule, Yasmin is the same. I’ve seen some girls allow kissing, but I think they only allow it when it’s a member they like as evident by Courtney. A famous rapper came in to celebrate his birthday; he hired out one of the largest rooms in Olympia, and Courtney was the one that was hired to give him a lap dance. Let’s just say she broke her own rules.

Tonight I’m working. I’m not the main event tonight, thank god. Being the main event tends to mean more work, more outfit changes and usually ends with my feet killing. I earn a lot more on those nights, so I guess it’s worth it. My main event is next week. We work in rotation to make it fair.

My stage name is Aphrodite; we’re all named after different goddesses. We get to choose our names when we get hired, even the waiters, waitresses and security have a working name. I guess to add to the mystery.

My security is called Ares, his real name Samuel, I call him Sam. His work name fits him. He’s a 6,8 muscle man and could be mistaken for the god of war with his unnerving aura when working. I think Madam Hera gave him to me because she knew how nervous I was about starting to waitress up here, never mind dancing. I also think Courtney and Chloe told her little things about me. Sam is honestly a teddy bear.

All the men that work here are great. Most of the barmen and barwomen are here to pay for university or because they enjoy their job. Madam Hera owns two clubs, one in LA, which is where I started waitressing at first. When Courtney and I got into NYU, she had just opened here. Madam Hera said it was perfect to have us move with her. I had only worked for six months, so it was a surprise that she was willing to take us and promote us both to head waitress while there. It wasn’t long after, Courtney started dancing.

Madam Hera has always been nice to Courtney and me. It’s her old condo that we now live in. We started out renting from her, but when I got my inheritance and Courtney got her trust fund, it made sense to buy the place, as my mother had put stipulations in place regarding the money I got from her will. It had to either go to college or go to a house; I chose both. Yasmin also put some of her trust fund towards it. We all pay the mortgage, but thanks to the discount that The Madam gave us our mortgage isn’t as high as it could be.

I don’t get my trust fund until I’m 25 thanks to Jonathon changing it after his sentencing out of spite. He ended up getting sentenced to 55 years in prison without parole. Safe to say he’s going to die in prison. My nightmares became less frequent once he was convicted. They’re not non-existent, but they’re not as bad.

My shift ends, and I’m sat in the dressing room, counting through my tips. I’d just finished getting washed and changed into a pair of leggings and a loose long sleeve top. I hate going home smelling like the club and sweat; I liked to go straight to bed when I got in. I have a class in the morning, so it’s better for me. Courtney is working tonight also, although she finishes a little later than me as her first class is in the afternoon.

College has been better than I expected. I thought I wouldn’t enjoy so much with me living off-campus and being classed as an older student, but I’ve loved every minute. Thanks to Yasmin and Courtney I’ve been able to experience college life, from parties to studying all night in the library for a test.

Yasmin and I are doing Psychology as our primary degree; I’m also taking Business and Computer sciences. Yasmin is taking anatomy and physiology. Courtney is taking Digital communication and media/multimedia as well as Business and Mathematics. Which surprised me because I’m pretty sure she hated Math in high school.

When I got to New York, we decided to defer our schooling a year to raise funds, so we didn’t struggle too much and got to know New York. We make enough to pay the bills together and live. We split everything three ways, and it’s so much easier. In the summer, we pick up another job or pick up extra shifts at the club, mostly waitressing to take time off in the middle or at the end of the summer.

Getting out of the car, I wave to Sam and make my way through the doors. The doorman at the desk gives me a small smile and wave before looking back at his desk’s security screen. When Courtney and I moved to New York, we lived in a bad area as it was cheap and wanted to work out our money before doing anything. When our place got broken into, Madam Hera didn’t like us living there so said we could live in one of the places she owns at a discounted price until we find a suitable place. It turns out this was perfect, in more ways than one.

Stepping out of the elevator, I take my keys out of my bag to unlock the door. Security was vital for both of us. Having the doorman and then the foyer between the elevator and our front door was perfect. It gave us both an added sense of security.

I open the door, and straight away, Max and one of our cats meet me. Our cat is a dark grey Maine Coon called Pepper, and the other is called Salt because he’s white. I didn’t name them, but it’s cute. Max runs up to me with his tail wagging in excitement, I smile and stroke him. This dog loves me unconditionally, and I love him also. Every day he’s a little reminder of my lost love and stolen heart.

My heart may have been stolen and given to someone else, but I got another one. One that has given me hope and love from the moment I laid my eyes on her.

“Mommy,” my heart says as she runs towards me from the kitchen.

I hope everyone enjoyed.